Posted in Quotes

Vacation

A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you’ve been taking.

earlwilson

Harvey Earl Wilson (May 3, 1907–January 16, 1987), born Harvey Earl Wilson, was an American journalist, gossip columnist and author, perhaps best known for his nationally syndicated newspaper column, It Happened Last Night. Born in Rockford in Mercer County in western Ohio, Wilson attended Heidelberg College and graduated from Ohio State University in 1931 with a B. S. in journalism.

Posted in Outrageous Lies and Tales

The Invention Of The Boat

preview09_year1-431x300 Not a picture of the characters in this story.

Once, a long long, long, I mean really long time ago there lived two cave men named Tuktuk and Gug. Now like most cavemen they were hungry. In fact it was so normal to be a hungry as a caveman they had no concept of what is was not to be hungry.

Tuktuk and Gug were down by the lake and a breeze was blowing from the opposite shore and both Tuktuk and Gug could smell the wonderful sweet aroma of plums coming from the opposite side of the lake. Now they loved plums, but they had eaten every single one of them on their side of the lake and they wanted more.

Tuktuk motioned for that they should walk around the lake and Gug shook his head no. (Shaking the head for no was very common and probably the first form of non-verbal communication the second was a child rolling its eyes at a parent.)

Gug made the sign that on that side of the lake was a Saber Tooth Tiger and had just eaten his cousin last Tuesday. (Being cavemen they did not know it was last Tuesday, but it was, so just deal with it)

Tuktuk again motioned that they should walk around the other side of the lake then. Gug now made the sign that he would not go that way because on that side of the lake his other cousin had been trampled by a herd of wooly Mammoths who were celebrating the fact that it was Thursday and they had not been eaten by a Saber tooth tiger. (Actually the Wooly Mammoths were wrong it was not Thursday but Friday, but they had still not been eaten by a Saber Tooth Tiger so no matter what day it was they were celebrating and had accidentally with no malice toward Gug’s cousin, trampled him.)

So Gug and Tuktuk sat on the side of the lake knowing they wanted to get those plums. Tuktuk grabbed some things and started throwing them at the water being frustrated and hungary, after a little while he found some of those thing were still on top of the water. (Now a light bulb would have gone off over his head, but since those things were not invented yet, it just appeared as a short burst of flame.) He motioned to Gug to look and Gug saw that things were floating on top of the water.

The two of them got together and started to experiment. (Now this was the days before anyone called it experimenting, back then it was just called trying things out.) They first just threw things into the water and some things floated. The did not realize that all the things that floated were sticks and branches. First Tuktuk took a very large branch into the lake and it floated with just his hand resting on it.

Tuktuk motioned to Gug that now they were getting somewhere. Gug not to be out down by his friend picked up a really big something and took it even further out into the water. Now Gug was much much stronger than Tuktuk, but not nearly as smart. Instead of grabbing a larger branch, he had grabbed a much, much larger rock. He took it out much further holding it above his head then he lowered it till it was just about at water level then he grunted a very loud grunt, which everyone knows is caveman for ‘Hey watch this.”.

Gug threw himself on top of the rock and the rock went straight to the bottom of the lake. Unfortunately Gag’s hands were on the bottom of it and Gug rode the rock to the bottom as well with his hands trapped between the rock and the squishy muddy lake bed.

After sputtering and splashing around Gug made it back to shore; where Tuktuk had watched the whole thing with interest. Tuktuk shook his head as Gug lying panting on the shore, a little while later Tuktuk went into the forest and brought back a whole bunch of branch, he then walked into the water holding them tight and proceeded to lie on top of them. They did float.

Gug not having learned his lesson went into the forest and came back with rocks, lots of rocks, so many rocks that he even had his pockets filled with rocks. (Pockets had actually been invented the previous Monday, but that is another story.)

Gug wadded out into the water and promptly continued to walk deeper and deeper into the water. Now he would have made it to the other side of the lake if he the lake had not dropped off suddenly and Gug did not want to take another step, and Gug felt the overwhelming, perhaps all consuming need to breath. From his previous attempt with the big rock he knew he could not and should not breathe in water, as it lead to coughing and sputtering and a desperate need to be above the water before he breathed again.

Again Gug made it back to shore and he did invent something new that day curse words which he used when talking to Tuktuk. But since no one else knew they were curse words Tuktuk’s feelings were not hurt.

By now Tuktuk realized the concept of buoyancy and the idea of displacement of water he knew he had to tie all his branches together and realized that the vine he had just tripped over would do nicely. So Tuktuk armed with this knowledge constructed the first boat, was it pretty no, was it very maneuverable, no. In fact he did not even think of the idea or propulsion, but once he finished tying all the branches together and he was sitting on top of history’s first boat. When he realized he had an extra branch. He was about the throw it overboard, when he dipped it into the water and the boat moved. Tuktuk did it again and the boat moved some more.

A few minutes later Tuktuk was on his way to get some plums. He filled his pockets with the wonderful plums and got back on his boat and paddled it back to his friend Gug.

Gug in the meantime had been busy himself; he had kept up the rock experiments, and had by the time Tuktuk returned had built a nice dock from all the rocks that he had carried out into the water. So when Tuktuk returned there was Gug standing on the dock, and he had charged Tuktuk a docking fee of three plums.

Posted in The Disinclined Purveyor of Sequential Art

The Disinclined Purveyor of Sequential Art – Chapter 18

fantastic_novels_Bmadscientistjpg Again, no real tie in to the story. Just some old covers I dug up.

Back to the beginning Chapter 1

Back to last week. Chapter 17

Chapter 18

They stood in line at the in front of the old theatre shuffling from one foot to the other trying to defeat the bitter cold. The crowd was not that large but the theater was not open yet even though all the people in line had their tickets already. The movie theatre was an old fashioned a one screen movie house and Gary had initially looked at it skeptically but Andrew had said trust him, this was the best place to see a big action flick and this Justice League movie was just that.

As they stood in line Sharon leaned in close to him, they had spent the entire afternoon in the apartment, keeping the shop closed. They had initially systematically tried to go thru the files, but when Gary had wanted to concentrate exclusively on the file about his father and Sharon had wanted to work thru the files chronologically and Andrew had started following along with Sharon chronologically but then had gone off on a tangent with a report of time travel, it was not long before the apartment was strewn with files laying on top of any flat surface that could hold one.

Gary was the one who had surprisingly called a halt to the file reading and declared they had to leave if they were going to join the customers from the comic book store at the movies. They had just made it in time for the box office to open and then for them to stand around talking to the kids and young adults from the store. Sharon as was the norm was the big hit with the much nerdier customers and some of them were still gathering around her even though Gary and her were holding hands the entire time. Clark and Jimmy were in a deep conversation with Andrew and he had to keep reminding them about spoilers because he had not seen the movie yet. By the time the doors opened and the proceeded thru the lobby they had not been able to have any deep discussion about that they had read in Mrs. Eastman’s files.

Like Andrew had attested, Gary was hugely impressed with the theater, it seems that some time ago a student from the college had come into a large sum of money from a settlement and being a film buff had blown it all entering into a partnership with the old theater owner, they had totally torn out all of the interior and updated the shell with a state of the art projection screen and sound system. The old seats from the 1930’s had been torn out and replaced with fabulously cushioned reclining seats, each positioned perfectly with plenty of leg room. Thus on the outside the movie theater had the classic marquee and art deco design with the flashing lights and neon tubes.

Gary was glad for the distraction of the movie, and Sharon and Andrew were nicely distracted so that he could actually think without seeming to be rude and not answering their questions. He thought that Sharon might have sensed this because she had given him one of her very deep looks that meant many things when he had been the one that broke up the research huddle in the apartment.

Gary had bought Sharon popcorn and somehow Andrew had steered the two of them into one of the many two person seats in the theater and then situated himself and the other customers in rows not close by. As they sat their sharing a large popcorn and a sprite with two straws Sharon whispered to him. “I am not going to ask what you are thinking yet, because I know you have not processed everything yet.”

Gary responded. “Thank you,” then he paused, “So what you said earlier you meant it?”

Sharon tried to bide some time, which was not like her, but stuffing more popcorn in her mouth. “What I said earlier?” She mumbled around the popcorn.

“At Mrs. Eastman’s, you said the you believed her and had seen some strange things yourself.”

Sharon now took a sip of the soda and then answered. “Well not me exactly, I did stretch the truth a little there.” Another sip of soda. “My father, he has seen some strange things in his time and always told us kids to never discount something because it could not be proven.”

“Hmmm.” Was Gary’s response.

They snuggled together in the seat and the previews began. Although out the movie Gary’s mind turned over the details of all that he had learned, and he came to a conclusion, more of a question. ‘What would help him find his father?’ If he decided to disbelieve all that he had been presented, the invisibility, the time travel, even the fantastic story about his father’s crazy creation of a woman, then it would hinder him in finding his father. The entries in his father’s file were sparse. It seemed the investigators automatically dismissed the statements of those who initiated the claim of fantastic scientific discovery’s or breakthroughs as those persons having too much a stake in the claim. The only entries directly attributed to his father were from Mrs. Eastman’s butler, the man in grey, who had placed a single sheet of typewritten page into the file. In it was basic questions, answered with a simple yes or no or true of false answer. The questions were simple and direct. Did you participate in an activity that to the best of your knowledge resulted in a women being formed from you and your friend Gary’s imagination. Answer: Yes. The rest of the statements were pretty straightforward: Did the government assist you in this activity; answer no.

So Gary know had a choice, believe for the purpose of finding his father or decide he did not believe and stop looking for his father because his father had gone down this route of believing these things and that had somehow lead him to disappearing.

It was halfway thru the movie that he decided to at least until his father was found to take all these extraordinary events at face value and temporarily suspend his disbelief and act as though all these implausible things had happened and that was the reason his father was missing. Now that he had that settled in his mind he decided to enjoy the movie, so far from what he could glean from it, it was pretty good with the Super Friends fighting some really nasty guy named Darkside and his cohorts.

Once he was fully engaged in the movie it went by quickly and before he knew it he was back outside with his friends shivering in the cold. They walked briskly back to the comic book store/apartment but not before ensuring that all the “kids” that met them at the movie theater were picked up by a parent or had a ride home. Andrew was the one that made them stop and guarantee this was settled before he would even think about leaving the vicinity of the cinema.

Once back in the apartment the three indulged in some hot drinks and found themselves sitting around the kitchen table where a large amount of research was still lying about.

“Well what is our next step in searching for the Castaways.” Andrew said referring to the Jules Verne book from earlier in the day.

Gary yawned and said fighting another yawn. “I guess finish reading this stuff tomorrow and then back to Mrs. Eastman’s.”

Sharon now yawned. “Ah not tomorrow my dear dear boy, after your stomped off in a huff, Mrs. Eastman told us to come back on Sunday at noon for lunch and she would have more information for us at that time.” Sharon added a stretch and a yawn to punctuate the conversation even further.

After that it was Andrew making a phone call to his mother telling her he would be staying at Gary’s another night and wishing her a Happy New Year. It was then that the three friends looked at each other and began to laugh, here it was New Year’s Eve and the three of them had not the slightest desire but to go to bed before 11:30 after the long day they had had.

The next day Gary was the first one awake and had gone down and changed the sign on the door to say closed until 1:00 pm. Gary figured he would not miss much business last night being New Year’s Eve and all. Then he climbed the stairs from the shop to the apartment and made some tea and toast and was about to sit down and start reading the files when a violent knocking on the apartment door made him almost spill his tea. He muttered to himself and got up as the pounding continued.

He walked to the top of the stairs and was halfway down when Sharon called his name. He turned around and there she was in a very over sized college sweatshirt that was down to mid-thigh. Her hair was a bit tussled but it made her look even more incredible. Gary just stopped dead in his tracts and could not believe this girl, this fantastically beautiful girl liked him and was spending time with him. Then the pounding which had stopped continued. Sharon asked who it was and Gary still incapable of speech just shrugged and forced himself to turn away from the vision at the top of the stairs and deal with the idiot pounding on his door.

Reaching the bottom of stairs he looked thru the peephole and saw no one but the pounding continued. He yelled “Who is it?” In a voice that surely conveyed that he was ticked off.

Then the unmistakable voice of the weird guy from a few days ago came thru the door. “It is Jack Gable; I came into your store the other day and bought a book about Superman.”

Gary decided the pull the guy’s chain for a moment. “Sorry, all sales are final and returns can only be done with a receipt and only for store credit.” Gary looked up at Sharon who was laughing silently and Gary got a chuckle out of that as well.

“It is not about the book it is about finding your father.” The voice of Mr. Jack Gable said coming thru the door.

Gary was interested at this point. “What do you know about my father?” He said with his hand on the door knob about to open it and confront this guy.

“My employer would like to talk to you about finding him and his discovery.”
Gary at this point decided to open the door. Standing there in seemingly the same clothes he had been wearing last time he had seen him, in fact looking at the guys receding hairline it did not look like he had washed his hair since the last time he had seen him.

“Who is your employer and what does he know about my father?” Gary said without as much as a good morning.

“Ah all will be revealed, can you meet my employer at one o’clock at the restaurant of the Double Tree hotel on Elm Street.

Gary decided to play it safe. “No, I open my shops at 1 pm today, tell your boss if he wants to talk come here at twelve o’clock and we will meet in the comic book store.”

Jack Gable shook his head. “Mr. Stuckey will not like that, usually most people who need something come to him.”

“Did I say I needed anything from Mr. Stuckey?” Gary said trying to sound defiant. “Noon, my shop, and I will hear what your boss has to say.”

Sharon by now had come to the bottom of the stairs and was listening to what Gary was saying, unfortunately the smaller man had spotted her and was staring at her doing the creepy licking of his lips again.

Gary caught sight of this and stepped between the two blocking the smaller man’s view of his girlfriend. “Noon Jack Gable, I am sure Mrs. Eastman has plenty of information about my father and that will lead me to finding him without your Mr. Stuckey’s help.” And with that Gary closed the door.

Sharon was frowning now.

“What did I do something wrong?”

Sharon replied with a huff. “Well first off I came down to distract him so that maybe we could get some more information from him, secondly why did you tell him about Mrs. Eastman maybe he did not know about her, and even if he did, now he knows we know about her.” With that she turned and walked barefooted up the stairs.

Gary was torn between watching her go up the stair and enjoying the view and shock in that she had just gotten angry with him about something.

Chapter 19

Posted in My Views On The Real World

Leaving Troop 313

BSA (1)

It is with a great deal of emotion that I tender my resignation as Assistant Scoutmaster with Troop 313. The reasons I am leaving have nothing to do with the worthy and great Scouts, Adult Leadership, Committee or Parents of the Troop.

As many of you know I try and stand firm in my faith, in my personal relationship with Jesus Christ. It if for that reason alone that I am leaving Troop 313 but not Scouting. God has lead me to see a great deal of need for strong men to stand up and help boys in the city of Philadelphia. I am a Parole Agent with the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania and everyday I work with men that have been through the criminal justice system. One of the first questions I ask them when we meet them, a question that reveals so much about them ‘Tell me about their father’. Close to 90% of the time I hear a story of abandonment, drug use, or incarceration. Their father was not around. This to me is one of the great preventable tragedies of our time, which leads to even greater problems in our county.

I try and follow God’s leading in my life and right now, at this point in my life I know God is leading me to work with a Scouts in West Philadelphia. I know with my limited abilities and talents my efforts it is anyone’s guess what the results will be, but I feel as though this is where God is leading me.

It will not be easy. I am trading in a Troop that is not only close to my home and heart, but is well established both in leadership, finances and parental support for a totally unknown situation. But I do not believe life is about taking the easy road, life is about challenges, hardships and difficulties so that when I stand before God on the day I die, and he asks what I did with the life he has given me I can honestly say to him. “I did not sit around eating Cheetos and watching movies the entire time; I did some hard things trying to make an impact.”

At summer camp on Friday July 26, I will be telling the boys and adult leaders about my resignation. I will miss them more than they will know, even now as I write this I am getting a little choked up, and only God knows how I will be able to get through making the announcement without shedding a tear or two. Till my dying day some of my fondest memories will be of discussions I have had with the Scouts, talking about the outdoors, adventures and just silly topics. I have made great friends among the leaders and have been truly privileged to help some good boys grow into great men. I am deeply, deeply proud of “my boys”, not a single one of them has ever let me down.

I have said it many times over the years, that I believe I have gotten more out of Scouting then the boys have. I know Scouting has required me to try and be a better man.
I expect to be back for some Eagle Ceremonies, but more importantly I expect “my boys” to grow into men who have the Scout Oath and Law embedded in their hearts.

Remember my three rules of Scouting:

1. You are not Special; the Rules apply to you too.

2. There is such a thing as a dumb question.

3. Have Fun

Yours in Scouting
Aaron A. Forringer

Posted in Quotes

Wilderness

TRcamping

Wilderness. Leave it as it is.
You cannot improve it.
The ages have been at work on it and man can only mar it.
What you can do is keep it for your children,
your children’s children,
and for all who come after you.

President Theodore Roosevelt

TR

Posted in Movie Speeches

MATTER- Speech

It_Just_Doesnt_Matter.31491656_large

Tripper: That’s just the attitude we don’t need. Sure, Mohawk has beaten us twelve years in a row. Sure, they’re terrific athletes. They’ve got the best equipment that money can buy. Hell, every team they’re sending over here has their own personal masseuse, not masseur, masseuse. But it doesn’t matter. Do you know that every Mohawk competitor has an electrocardiogram, blood and urine tests every 48 hours to see if there’s any change in his physical condition? Do you know that they use the most sophisticated training methods from the Soviet Union, East and West Germany, and the newest Olympic power Trinidad-Tobago? But it doesn’t matter. It just doesn’t matter. IT JUST DOESN’T MATTER. I tell you, IT JUST DOESN’T MATTER! IT JUST DOESN’T MATTER! IT JUST DOESN’T MATTER!

And even, and even if we win, if we win, HAH! Even if we win! Even if we play so far over our heads that our noses bleed for a week to ten days. Even if God in Heaven above comes down and points his hand at our side of the field. Even if every man, woman and child held hands together and prayed for us to win, it just wouldn’t matter, because all the really good looking girls would still go out with the guys from Mohawk ’cause they’ve got all the money! It just doesn’t matter if we win or we lose. IT JUST DOESN’T MATTER!

Probably one of the greatest summer camp movies of all time. No, strike that, it is the greatest summer camp movie of all time, the one which all others shall be judged.

Here is the full scene and remember It Just doesn’t matter.

Starting today I will be away at summer camp this week, but don’t worry internet campers old Uncle AA has showed his assistant Morty how to keep the website going. Remember like my friend Ken says you have to grow older, but growing up is optional. (Look for a Special Posting on Friday of this week, under the Category: My Views on the Real World )