Posted in Travel and Diversions

Elevators, Fifty Fun Things to Do In

Don’t Have time to write anything, So I will give you this, picked this up in 1999. I must have copied and pasted it while at the job I had back then because the author is listed my place of employment. I am sure the e-mail quoted on it is no good no more, I mean who keeps an e-mail for 14 years. I never knew Alan R. Meiss, but somehow I got this list he put together, so thanks Alan wherever you are.

elevator

Elevators, Fifty Fun Things to Do In

A Boring Place Made More Enjoyable (Real)

By Alan R. Meiss , ameiss@gn.ecn.purdue.edu
Dated: 19940524

1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other
passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: “Shut up,
dammit, all of you just shut UP!”
4. Whistle the first seven notes of “It’s a Small World” incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the
elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: “Got
enough air in there?”
9. Offer nametags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours
upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without
getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open,
then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: “Noogie patrol coming!”
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask
them to call you Admiral.
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stays open
until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go “plink” at the
bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce:
“I’ve got new socks on!”
18. When at least eight people have boarded, moan from the back: “Oh, not
now, damn motion sickness!”
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20. Meow occasionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter “Gotta go, gotta go,” then sigh and say “Oops!”
23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing “Mary had a little lamb” while continually pushing buttons.
25. Holler “Chutes away!” whenever the elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says “human head” on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce “You’re one
of THEM!” and move to the far corner of the elevator.
28. Burp, and then say: “Mmmm… tasty!”
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers “through” it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: “Is that your beeper?”
34. Play the harmonica.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say “Ding!” at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say “I wonder what all these do” and push the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the
other passengers that this is your “personal space.”
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: “Wanna see
wha in muh mouf?”
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice: “I must find a more suitable host body.”
46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear “X-Ray Specs” and leer suggestively at other passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say “I think it’s getting larger.”
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler “Bad touch!”

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And in case Mr. Alan R. Meiss ever googles himself, I put his name in the tags, spelled with both the middle initial and without it.

Posted in Quotes

Infect

jeffers

It would be better for men to be few and live far apart, where none could infect another; then slowly the sanity of field and mountain and the cold ocean and glittering stars might enter their minds.” Robinson Jeffers

John Robinson Jeffers (January 10, 1887 – January 20, 1962) was an American poet, known for his work about the central California coast. Most of Jeffers’ poetry was written in narrative and epic form, but today he is also known for his short verse, and considered an icon of the environmental movement.

Posted in Quotes

Affected

Epicurus_bust2

Man is affected not by events but by the view he takes of them. Epictetus (55 AD – 135 AD)

Just had to use this from the Wikipedia entry about our slave/philospher and his affect on the world:

220px-US_NaMedal_of_Honor_awarded_to_Rear_Admiral_James_B._Stockdale Prisoner of war James Stockdale received the Medal of Honor from American president Gerald Ford; Stockdale was able to retain his sanity during capture by relying on the philosophy of Epictetus

The philosophy of Epictetus is well known in the American military through the writings and example of James Stockdale, an American fighter pilot who was shot down over North Vietnam, became a prisoner of war during the Vietnam War, and later a vice presidential candidate. In Courage under Fire: Testing Epictetus’s Doctrines in a Laboratory of Human Behavior (1993), Stockdale credits Epictetus with helping him endure seven and a half years in a North Vietnamese military prison—including torture—and four years in solitary confinement.

In his conclusion, Stockdale quoted Epictetus as saying, “The emotions of grief, pity, and even affection are well-known disturbers of the soul. Grief is the most offensive; Epictetus considered the suffering of grief an act of evil. It is a willful act, going against the will of God to have all men share happiness”.

Posted in Movie Speeches

Good in the World – Speech

lordofringstwotowers3

A very wonderful speech by delivered by Sean Astin from the movie “The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers“.

I know. It’s all wrong. By rights we shouldn’t even be here. But we are. It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines, it’ll shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you, that meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. And I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turnin’ back, only they didn’t. They kept going. Because they were holdin’ on to something.

Frodo asked: “What are we holdin’ onto, Sam?” to which Sam replied:

That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it’s worth fighting for.

Here is the Youtube clip.

I really liked this little fact, it just goes to show you that no matter how great an award or honor is, something will bring you back to reality: On 4 December 2001, Sean had his image as Samwise Gamgee immortalized on a 90-cent New Zealand postage stamp that he shares with “Lord of the Rings” co-star Elijah Wood (Frodo Baggins). However, Sean’s last name is spelled incorrectly on the presentation pack of the stamps (Austin instead of Astin).

Of course Sean Astin was in another of my favorite movies of all time Rudy. rudy

Posted in Quotes

Peace

John_Ruskin_in_his_thirties

You may either win your peace or buy it: win it, by resistance to evil; buy it, by compromise with evil. John Ruskin

From that wonderful source Wikipedia: John Ruskin (8 February 1819 – 20 January 1900) was the leading English art critic of the Victorian era, also an art patron, draughtsman, watercolourist, a prominent social thinker and philanthropist. He wrote on subjects ranging from geology to architecture, myth to ornithology, literature to education, and botany to political economy.

Posted in Quotes

Presist

Isaac-Asimov-007

You must keep sending work out; you must never let a manuscript do nothing but eat its head off in a drawer. You send that work out again and again, while you’re working on another one. If you have talent, you will receive some measure of success – but only if you persist. Isaac Asimov

A P.H.D. in Biochemistry, who was only accepted into graduate studies on a probationary basis. His books have been published in nine out of ten major categories of the Dewey Decimal Classification. The Oxford English Dictionary credits his science fiction for introducing the words positronic (an entirely fictional technology, creating a artificial brain) which I have used in my own writing of the Outfitters Universe stories.

And according to Gene Roddenberry he once unknowingly ‘hushed’ Asimov when Roddenberry’s Star Trek pilot was premiering at a science fiction convention in the sixties.

Isaac_Asimov I just sent out my story Scout’s Out to Baen Publisher, will try and send it out to a different publisher every week.

Posted in Movie Speeches

Hero – Speech

Auntmay

From the good people at Marvel Comics I give you a speech by Peter Parker’s sweet Aunt May (played by Rosemary Harris)

He knows a hero when he sees one. Too few characters out there, flying around like that, saving old girls like me. And Lord knows, kids like Henry need a hero. Courageous, self-sacrificing people setting examples for all of us. Everybody loves a hero. People line up for ’em. Cheer them. Scream their names. And years later, they’ll tell how they stood in the rain for hours just to get a glimpse of the one who taught them to hold on a second longer.

I believe there’s a hero in all of us that keeps us honest, gives us strength, makes us noble, and finally allows us to die with pride. Even though sometimes we have to be steady and give up the thing we want the most. Even our dreams. Spider-Man did that for Henry and he wonders where he’s gone. He needs him.

Here is the YouTube clip, about 1 minute in.

Of course one of the weirdest comic book story lines is when one of Spider-man’s toughest, enemies came to live with Aunt May, talk about awkward. iphone-20120316200800-1 Ah the tough lives of a superhero.