Posted in Quotes

Weird

trobbins

There is no such thing as a weird human being, It’s just that some people require more understanding than others. Tom Robbins

Thomas Eugene “Tom” Robbins (born July 22, 1936) is an American author. His best-selling novels are “seriocomedies” (also known as “comedy-drama”), often wildly poetic stories with a strong social and philosophical undercurrent, an irreverent bent, and scenes extrapolated from carefully researched bizarre facts. His novel Even Cowgirls Get the Blues was made into a movie in 1993 by Gus Van Sant.

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Posted in Movie Speeches

War – Speech

All_Quiet_on_the_Western_Front_(1930_film)_poster

If you have never watched All Quiet on the Western Front (1930 version) go do so, but if you want a glimpse of this great movie from 1930 read this speech from the main character who returns to his old school in Germany and tells the young men who sit in the sames benches he did a short while ago.

I can’t say anything…I can’t tell you anything you don’t know. We live in the trenches out there. We fight. We try not to be killed; sometimes we are. That’s all….

I’ve been there! I know what it’s like…. I heard you in here reciting that same old stuff, making more iron men, more young heroes. You still think it’s beautiful and sweet to die for your country, don’t you? We used to think you knew. The first bombardment taught us better. It’s dirty and painful to die for your country. When it comes to dying for your country, it’s better not to die at all. There are millions out there dying for their countries, and what good is it?…You asked me to tell them how much they’re needed out there. (to the boys) He tells you, ‘Go out and die.’ Oh, but if you’ll pardon me, it’s easier to say ‘go out and die’ than it is to do it….And it’s easier to say it than to watch it happen….

It’s no use talking like this. You won’t know what I mean. Only, it’s been a long while since we enlisted out of this classroom. So long, I thought maybe the whole world had learned by this time. Only now, they’re sending babies, and they won’t last a week! I shouldn’t have come on leave. Up at the front, you’re alive or you’re dead, and that’s all. You can’t fool anybody about that very long. Up there, we know we’re lost and done for, whether we’re dead or alive. Three years we’ve had of it — four years. And every day a year, and every night a century. And our bodies are earth. And our thoughts are clay. And we sleep and eat with death. And we’re done for, because you can’t live that way and keep anything inside you. I shouldn’t have come on leave. I’ll go back tomorrow. I’ve got four days more, but I can’t stand it here! I’ll go back tomorrow. Sorry.
Here is an audio clip of the speech.

And the longer Youtube clip.

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Posted in Travel and Diversions

Elevators, Fifty Fun Things to Do In

Don’t Have time to write anything, So I will give you this, picked this up in 1999. I must have copied and pasted it while at the job I had back then because the author is listed my place of employment. I am sure the e-mail quoted on it is no good no more, I mean who keeps an e-mail for 14 years. I never knew Alan R. Meiss, but somehow I got this list he put together, so thanks Alan wherever you are.

elevator

Elevators, Fifty Fun Things to Do In

A Boring Place Made More Enjoyable (Real)

By Alan R. Meiss , ameiss@gn.ecn.purdue.edu
Dated: 19940524

1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other
passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: “Shut up,
dammit, all of you just shut UP!”
4. Whistle the first seven notes of “It’s a Small World” incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the
elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: “Got
enough air in there?”
9. Offer nametags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours
upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without
getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open,
then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: “Noogie patrol coming!”
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask
them to call you Admiral.
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stays open
until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go “plink” at the
bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce:
“I’ve got new socks on!”
18. When at least eight people have boarded, moan from the back: “Oh, not
now, damn motion sickness!”
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20. Meow occasionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter “Gotta go, gotta go,” then sigh and say “Oops!”
23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing “Mary had a little lamb” while continually pushing buttons.
25. Holler “Chutes away!” whenever the elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says “human head” on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce “You’re one
of THEM!” and move to the far corner of the elevator.
28. Burp, and then say: “Mmmm… tasty!”
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers “through” it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: “Is that your beeper?”
34. Play the harmonica.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say “Ding!” at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say “I wonder what all these do” and push the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the
other passengers that this is your “personal space.”
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: “Wanna see
wha in muh mouf?”
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice: “I must find a more suitable host body.”
46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear “X-Ray Specs” and leer suggestively at other passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say “I think it’s getting larger.”
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler “Bad touch!”

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And in case Mr. Alan R. Meiss ever googles himself, I put his name in the tags, spelled with both the middle initial and without it.