May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions! Joey Adams
Joey Adams (January 6, 1911 – December 2, 1999), born Joseph Abramowitz, was an American comedian who was inducted into the New York Friars’ Club in 1977 and wrote the book Borscht Belt in 1973
Lenny and the Squigtones is a fictional musical group headed by Michael McKean and David Lander, the two actors who played the characters Lenny and Squiggy on the television series Laverne & Shirley. The group’s eponymous debut album, Lenny & Squiggy Present Lenny and the Squigtones, was released on the Casablanca label in 1979.
Leonard “Lenny” Kosnowski (Michael McKean) is a lovable goof who pesters Laverne and Shirley, along with his best friend and roommate Squiggy, both of whom live upstairs from Laverne and Shirley’s lower-level apartment. Lenny works as a truck driver at the Shotz brewery, and prizes a stuffed iguana named Jeffrey. Raised by his father after his mother abandoned them, during the series it was learned that Lenny was the 89th in line to the Polish Throne. Lenny says that, while he is not completely sure, he thinks his last name (Kosnowski) is Polish for “Help, there’s a hog in my kitchen”.
Andrew “Squiggy” Squigman (David Lander) is an obnoxious anti-hero, a parody of the 1950s tough guy with trademark greased hair and black motorcycle jacket. Squiggy works and lives with childhood friend Lenny. Squiggy grew up with neglectful and abusive parents, and is often scheming to get rich or succeed by somewhat devious means. He collects moths due to being repeatedly locked in a closet as a child with them. Squiggy, like Lenny, loves the chocolate-flavored drink Bosco Chocolate Syrup, and makes nearly every entrance with his trademark “Hello” said in a slightly dopey voice. In the final season, Squiggy’s lookalike sister named Squendoline is introduced.
These two guys really sold their characters, whole heartedly, with gusto and both with degrees from Carnegie Mellon University.
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven. W.C. Fields
William Claude Dukenfield (January 29, 1880– December 25, 1946), better known as W. C. Fields, was an American comedian, actor, juggler and writer. Fields’s comic persona was a misanthropic and hard-drinkingegotist, who remained a sympathetic character despite his snarling contempt for dogs and children.
My wife, like many women, actually LIKES wrapping things. If she gives you a gift that requires batteries, she wraps the batteries separately, which to me is very close to being a symptom of mental illness. Dave Barry
Dave Barry has been a professional humorist ever since he discovered that professional humor was a lot easier than working.
For many years he wrote a newspaper column that appeared in more than 500 newspapers and generated thousands of letters from readers who thought he should be fired. Despite this, Barry won the Pulitzer Prize for commentary, although he misplaced it for several years, which is why his wife now keeps it in a secure location that he does not know about. One of Barry’s columns was largely responsible for the movement to observe International Talk Like a Pirate Day every year on September 19. This is probably his most enduring achievement.
A Charlie Brown Christmas Special Repelled by the commercialism he sees around him, Charlie Brown tries to find the true meaning of Christmas.
Linus Van Pelt: And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, ‘Fear not: for behold, I bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the City of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.’ And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God, and saying, ‘Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.
That’s what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.
Linus is the Philosopher of the Peanuts neighborhood. He often gives advice to Charlie Brown to help him unravel his hang ups, even though Charlie Brown is older than him. He is not an original Peanuts character, but was brought into the series (newspaper comic strip, not TV) early on after Lucy Van Pelt suddenly had a Baby Brother to contend with. The process was then repeated when Charlie Brown suddenly got a Baby Sister of his own. After a few years, little Sally Brown developed a crush for Linus and began calling him My Sweet Baboo. Perhaps Linus’ most noticeable characteristic is his frequent sitting down to suck his thumb and cuddle his Security Blanket, which he also wields in such varied and imaginative ways that it’s enough to make a Jedi give up his Light saber and start using a blanket.
While I had often said that I wanted to die in bed, what I really meant was that in my old age I wanted to be stepped on by an elephant while making love. Roger Zelazny
Roger Joseph Zelazny (May 13, 1937 – June 14, 1995) was an American writer of fantasy and science fiction short stories and novels, best known for his The Chronicles of Amber series. He won the Nebula award three times (out of 14 nominations) and the Hugo award six times (also out of 14 nominations), including two Hugos for novels: the serialized novel …And Call Me Conrad (1965; subsequently published under the title This Immortal, 1966) and then the novel Lord of Light (1967).
Have never read any of his stuff, but I just might now.
Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces us up, snow is exhilarating; there is really no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather. John Ruskin
(8 February 1819 – 20 January 1900) He was the leading English art critic of the Victorian era, also an art patron, draughtsman, watercolourist, a prominent social thinker and philanthropist. He wrote on subjects ranging from geology to architecture, myth to ornithology, literature to education, and botany to political economy. His writing styles and literary forms were equally varied. Ruskin penned essays and treatises, poetry and lectures, travel guides and manuals, letters and even a fairy tale. The elaborate style that characterized his earliest writing on art was later superseded by a preference for plainer language designed to communicate his ideas more effectively. In all of his writing, he emphasized the connections between nature, art and society. He also made detailed sketches and paintings of rocks, plants, birds, landscapes, and architectural structures and ornamentation.