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simonhoggart

One of the pleasures of staying with friends is that you get to browse their shelves. I always arrive with a book, but I almost never read it. It would be like sitting at their dinner table and opening a packet of sandwiches.   Simon Hoggart

Simon David Hoggart  (26 May 1946 – 5 January 2014) was an English journalist and broadcaster. He wrote on politics for The Guardian, and on wine for The Spectator. Until 2006 he presented The News Quiz on Radio 4. His journalism sketches have been published in a series of books.

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Posted in Outrageous Lies and Tales, Tending the Stones for the Lock

Tending the Stones for The Lock IIX

8th part of the new weekly story.  (First Part)   The inspiration for this came from an off hand comment I made on Facebook, and since people seemed interested I decided to follow through.  Happy Reading. 

(1st Part) (2nd Part)  (3rd Part) (4th Part) (5th Part) (6th Part) (7th Part) (8th Part) (9th Part)(Part 10) (Part 11)

 

Mrs. Emily shuffled around the field she was going to be feeling this in the morning.  Who was she kidding she was feeling the stiffness now and in the morning she wondered if she was going to be able to get out of bed.  She looked over the field letting her eyes unfocused and letting herself see the aura surrounding the field.It was almost a consistent shade of green with the dissecting lines of power that crossed the earth here being a darker green than the ones that did not cross each other.  When they had gotten here several hours ago the power lines were a dangerous black mixed with red. But after moving a few rocks the greens sheen started to raise to the surface.  Brodie was moving a large rock the last few inches it needed to move.  She watched him as he shoved the large rock a few more inches, stopped and then without any direction from her moved it one more inch dropping it into the proper spot.

Mrs. Emily waited a full minute then called out to him.  “Why did you move it that last inch Brodie?”

The young man looked up taking his hands off his hips where he had been resting them, as if satisfied with his work.  He shrugged as he answered.  “I don’t really know it just felt as though it was the right place for it to be.”  Then his tone changed.  “Did I move it too far if so I can move it back.”  He started to bend down.

Emily called out.  “No no, stop it is perfectly placed.”  She saw that he stopped and turned to face her with a confused look on his face. “I think you might have a knack for this.”

“I don’t even really know what we are doing here.”  He said confused.

“Well I don’t have time to explain right now but I promise you when we have finished we and I am feeling rested I will explain it to you fully.”

Brodie luckily did not ask any more questions and came and helped Emily place three more rock in their proper orientation when that was done she motioned for him to be still for a moment and looked over their work.  Now the power lines that crossed here glowed a bright brilliant green with a very pleasant coolness that invoked in her thoughts of a living forest or jungle.  She smiled that was good, things should stay good here for while.   “Give me your arm Brodie I feel a bit tired and I am very hungry.”

Brodie complied and helped her start shuffling back towards the RV which had been parked alongside the road the last several hours.  The High Pilgrim had produced a folder chair from inside the vehicle and sat meditating most of the day.  Brodie had looked over and asked if he was meditating why was he not sitting cross legged on the ground.  Emily had laughed and answered. “You watch too many movies, why should the position of the body have anything to do with the tranquility and peacefulness of one’s brain.”

“But arent they supposed to have the whole mind over matter thing going on?”

Emily shook her head.  “To many movies, to much Hollywood Brodie.”

They had another hundred or so yards to cross when Emily heard the vehicle coming down the road. Correction she felt the malevolence coming from the vehicle a few moments before she heard it.  Then she saw the dark four door sedan moving slowly but steadily towards the RV and she knew without a doubt their was three memembers of the opposition in that vehicle.

“Brodie we must stop here.”

“Are you feeling alright?”  He faced her and reached for her wrist to check her pulse.

Emily shook her head and turned her hand over grabbing his and used both their hands to point to the dark sedan that had pulled to the rear of the RV.

Brodie looked where she was pointing and then dropped her hand.  “Do they have dogs?”

Emily used her hand that he had dropped and grabbed his face turning it so he was now looking at her.  “No matter what happens don’t leave my side, and if for some reason we get separated do not leave this field until after sunrise tomorrow.”

Brodie’s mouth was open but no sound was coming out.

“Do you understand me, stay by my side and if we get separated do not leave this field until after sunrise tomorrow.  Nod if you understand me.”

Brodie nodded weakly.

“Good.”  Now that Brodie had instructions she turned back to the road.

Three figures were out of the car now, getting out of the passenger seat was a familiar figure.

“Mrs. Bartloski fancy meeting you out here.”  The English accent of Mr. Webb came across the distance.

Emily just shook her head.

“Are you having vehicle trouble perhaps me and my associates can give you a lift somewhere?”

“Mr. Webb I know your organization is based on lies and deceptions but please do not insult our intelligence pretending to be someone you are not.”

The two associates looked at Mr. Webb who was clearly the one in charge and he directed them with quick hand motions.  They went around the far side of the RV and stationed themselves in front of the vehicle  with about twenty feet separating them from the hood of the vehicle.  In the time it took for the two of them to move Mr. Webb removed his gloves and then his jacket he then unbuttoned his shirt and exposed his chest with what Emily figured from what she could see was a dragon tattoo.

Emily rolled her eyes.  “Please don’t think you impress me with the mark of the dragon I have dealt with twenty dragons before breakfast and have dealt with seven spiders before lunch the same day.”

Webb frowned he must have read that story in whatever passed for their archives then he smiled.  “You were a lot younger then, what was that about thirty years ago?”  Webb asked.

Emily smiled back.  “What do you think I have learned in thirty years?”

Webb sneered.  “I guess you learned how to walk with two fake hips and how to deal with life without a gall bladder, you might have also perfected your brownie recipe I suppose.”

“My brownies are to die for.”  She smiled.  “Brodie get behind me.”

 

(1st Part) (2nd Part)  (3rd Part) (4th Part) (5th Part) (6th Part) (7th Part) (8th Part) (9th Part)(Part 10) (Part 11)

Not crazy about the title, any suggestions will be duly considered.

The problem I have discovered with this type of writing is if I commit to something in the story there is no taking it back I just have to go with is and write my way out of it.  

If you would like to read my last weekly story, A Disinclined Purveyor of Sequential Art her it is. (Written in 2013, the same year my wife left me, so I was a different person back then, and I hope I have learned a lot about writing since then.)

If you want to see one of  my complete books try Disconnect in the Outfitters Universe.  

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My Response:   The prophecy stated that in 60 years if the Stones were not properly aligned then the world would fall under the sway of the demon king for 1000 years. 1956 21 year old Emily the chosen one starts the quest. She arranges half the Stones around the planet, but then falls in love and life happens. Now it is 59 years later, Emily’s husband of 58 years passed away and one of the monks has found Emily and reminds her that she is the chosen one and needs to complete her task. Anyone interested?

 

Posted in Quotes

Purpose

 emil-zola_1902b

If you ask me what I came into this life to do, I will tell you: I came to live out loud.     Emile Zola

Émile Édouard Charles Antoine Zola (2 April 1840 – 29 September 1902) was a French novelist, playwright, journalist, the best-known practitioner of the literary school of naturalism, and an important contributor to the development of theatrical naturalism. He was a major figure in the political liberalization of France and in the exoneration of the falsely accused and convicted army officer Alfred Dreyfus, which is encapsulated in the renowned newspaper headline J’accuse. Zola was nominated for the first and second Nobel Prize in Literature in 1901 and 1902.

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Posted in Quotes

Cartoons

danielpipes

So, this is my plea to all Western editors and producers: Display the Muhammad cartoon daily, until the Islamists become accustomed to the fact that we turn sacred cows into hamburger.   Daniel Pipes

Daniel Pipes (born September 9, 1949) is an American historian, writer, and commentator. He is the president of the Middle East Forum, and publisher of its Middle East Quarterly journal. His writing focuses on the American foreign policy and the Middle East.

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Posted in Outrageous Lies and Tales, Tending the Stones for the Lock

Tending the Stones for The Lock VII

7th part of the new weekly story.  (First Part)   The inspiration for this came from an off hand comment I made on Facebook, and since people seemed interested I decided to follow through.  Happy Reading. 

(1st Part) (2nd Part)  (3rd Part) (4th Part) (5th Part) (6th Part) (7th Part) (8th Part) (9th Part)(Part 10) (Part 11)(Part 12)(Part 13)(Part 14)(Part 15)(Part 16)(Part 17)(Part 18) (Part 19) (Part 20) (Part 21) (Part 22)  (Part 23) (Part 24) (Part 25) (Part 26) 

bowlingball

 

Brodie looked to where Mrs. Emily was pointing and waving.  Three men, at least he was pretty sure they were men were standing.  All three were in robes of deep almost maroon red and dark green.  The only one that moved was the tallest one in the middle, and he simply nodded back at his boss.

“You have friends waiting how delightful.”  Mr. Webb stated.

“Friends of Mrs. Emily I have never met them.”  Brodie said.  After Mrs. Emily discussion about ‘the opposition’ and how Mr. Webb might be one of them Brodie had been cautious around him.  Although they had not seen him till they were leaving the ferry he had ended up in the same line at customs with him.  Although Brodie noted there were only two lines for non-Russians so he had a fifty/fifty chance of being in their line anyways.  “Are you cold?”  Brodie asked motioning towards the mans gloves and tweed coat.

“The unfortunate side effect of life time of travel.” Mr. Webb said stoically.  “Foreign service career officer.” He added when Brodie raised an eyebrow. “Nothing like you think, I was in charge of processing visa’s and such, truly dull and dreary paperwork but it allowed me to see the world. But as I was saying, years living in places like Saudi Arabia then moving to Iceland or other Scandinavian countries threw my bodies ability to feel comfortable in even the slightest chill out of order.”  Mr. Webb said holding out his gloves as evidence.

“Well that is something I am sure they did not cover in your training.”  Brodie observed.

“Quite.”  Webb said. “But now I have great pension and can travel as I want, not as the job dictates.”

They were interrupted when they approached their turn to be interviewed by the Customs official.  Brodie passed thru nervously and joined Mrs. Emily who had already been processed.  She had joined the three men in robes and she quickly introduced the head of the order the very tall man, High Pilgrim Orujov.  The other two she introduced as Hans and Dante.  Hans had the look of a sunburnt Eastern European and Dante was a very pale middle aged man who looked like he spent a lot of time indoors.  Both man quickly relieved Brodie and Mrs. Emily of their luggage and the High Pilgrim carried Mrs. Emily’s blue bowling ball bag himself. After this was done Brodie noticed that Mr. Webb was standing a little bit apart from their group and Emily motioned him over quickly.

“Well this is where we part company I guess, have a nice time in Russia.”  Mr. Webb said with a smile.

Mrs. Emily smiled back. “And you also, thank you so much for your company Mr. Webb, may the road rise up to meet you.”

“And my the wind always be at your back Mrs. Emily.” Webb turned to look at Brodie after shaking Mrs. Emily hand.  “Brodie my boy no more fainting,  don’t skip to many meals.”

“I won’t.”  Brodie said shaking the man’s hands and feeling the leather gloves he was wearing and tried not to think of the possibility that this man was a member of the opposition as Mrs. Emily suspected.

“May the sun always shine upon your face.”  And with those words the stocky British man turned and walked away towing his luggage behind him.

He turned back to Mrs. Emily and the three men and heard her say something in a low tone. “Is he?”

Then the High Pilgrim said in the same low conspiratorial tone.  “Oh yes, one of their best.”

 

Brodie’s alarm on his phone went off and he reached into his bag.  “Mrs. Emily time for your noon medicine.”

Mrs. Emily looked at him.  “What would I do without you Brodie?”

The recreational vehicle lurched slightly and Brodie took exceptional care handing the pills to his employer and then he unscrewed the water bottle and held it until she had the pills safely in her mouth then she followed with the water bottle.  Once that was done Brodie looked out the window at the passing countryside.  It was very green, much more so than the outskirts of LA but the topography was similar to Finland where they had just come from.  The few towns they passed on the road were a bit more drab then Finland though.  They had been on the road for two days now and they were heading in roughly southwest direction, he knew this from the sun as he had not been given an opportunity to look at a map as the monks did not seem to have one.  He had learned that Dante was Russian when he spoke to people at gas stations and the hotel where they stayed last night.

They had left the sea port in a small blue Volkswagen minivan and driven around the city in what he thought was a random manner.  Mrs. Emily informed him they were trying to lose a tail and after a hour of some strange maneuvers including stopping for ten minutes in traffic and letting cars go around them followed by an abrupt U-turn from a center lane and a crazy ride down a one way street at very slow speed Dante had said something to Hans and they ended up in a warehouse and industrial area of the city that looked very disreputable.  They had pulled into a parking lot and a man in grey workman’s clothes opened a garage door and they entered without slowing.

It was inside the darkened warehouse they had transferred all their belongings and themselves into the large metallic green RV they were now traveling across Russia in.  Well they had transferred his and Mrs. Emily luggage, either the monks had loaded their luggage beforehand or they had none.  Once they were settled in the RV he had to continually monitor Mrs. Emily when she got up to walk around as the suspension was poor and he cane only added to her stability to a limited extent.  Luckily she was very happy sitting across a folding table from the High Pilgrim playing backgammon and they tried to teach mahjong to Brodie when Hans was not driving.  Unfortunately Brodie had trouble concentrating on the game because when he looked at it too long he got car sick so the two of them played more backgammon then anything else.

It was an hour after he had given Mrs. Emily her noon dosage of medicine that the large RV pulled off the main road and onto a side road.  “Almost there.”  The accented voice of Dante came back thru the cabin.

“Show time.”  Mrs. Emily said smiling.

“Indeed, it has been a long time since I have been this close to an alignment.”  High Pilgrim Orujov stated.

“Portugal if I recall.”  Mrs. Emily said as she closed the backgammon board carefully so as to not disturb the magnetic pieces in their places.

“No I think it was France.” The man said correcting her.

“No France was where you were being chased by the oppositions attack dogs thru the cemetery.” Mrs. Emily said.

“Oh yes, you would think I would remember that, I could not sit for a week.”

Brodie heard this.  “The opposition,”  He gulped.  “Uses attack dogs?”

The two looked at him as if he had said something mildly amusing. “Oh no dear that was a one time event, there was a dog training center next to the cemetery we were close to and the opposition took control of them John here volunteered to draw them off with a sack of meat from a butcher shop.”

“Oh that makes me feel much better.”  Brodie stated.

“Tsk tsk.”  Mrs. Emily looking like the grandmother she was. “Sarcasm does not become you Brodie, we try and say exactly how we are feeling, not try and hide behind a macho façade.”

Brodie was duly chastised.  “Yes Mrs. Emily.”

The large vehicle slowed as it pulled off to the side of the road. “Madam is this the place?”

Emily rose slowly and looked out the window for a long time at an apparent empty field.  Inside the RV no one moved or said a word.  Brodie was trying to sit still when he felt an urge to scratch is leg but was told that when Mrs. Emily was viewing a site it would be better if he stayed still and not disturb her.  It was a few more minutes and Brodie was about to slowly reach down and give his thigh a slow scratch when she turned and faced everyone inside the vehicle. “This is the right place, but this is a big job, Brodie you are going to have to help me with this.”

 

(1st Part) (2nd Part)  (3rd Part) (4th Part) (5th Part) (6th Part) (7th Part) (8th Part) (9th Part)(Part 10) (Part 11)(Part 12)(Part 13)(Part 14)(Part 15)(Part 16)(Part 17)(Part 18) (Part 19) (Part 20) (Part 21) (Part 22)  (Part 23) (Part 24) (Part 25) (Part 26) 

Not crazy about the title, any suggestions will be duly considered.

The problem I have discovered with this type of writing is if I commit to something in the story there is no taking it back I just have to go with is and write my way out of it.  

If you would like to read my last weekly story, A Disinclined Purveyor of Sequential Art her it is. (Written in 2013, the same year my wife left me, so I was a different person back then, and I hope I have learned a lot about writing since then.)

If you want to see one of  my complete books try Disconnect in the Outfitters Universe.  

facebook-page

My Response:   The prophecy stated that in 60 years if the Stones were not properly aligned then the world would fall under the sway of the demon king for 1000 years. 1956 21 year old Emily the chosen one starts the quest. She arranges half the Stones around the planet, but then falls in love and life happens. Now it is 59 years later, Emily’s husband of 58 years passed away and one of the monks has found Emily and reminds her that she is the chosen one and needs to complete her task. Anyone interested?

Posted in Quotes

Truth

Mandatory Credit: Photo by STEVE WOOD/REX/Shutterstock (74497b) GENE WILDER VARIOUS - 1979

Photo by STEVE WOOD/REX/Shutterstock

If you’re not gonna tell the truth, then why start talking?  Gene Wilder

Jerome Silberman (June 11, 1933 – August 29, 2016), known professionally as Gene Wilder, was an American film and theater comic actor, screenwriter, film director, and author.   Wilder began his career on stage, and made his screen debut in an episode of the TV series The Play of the Week in 1961. Although his first film role was portraying a hostage in the 1967 motion picture Bonnie and Clyde,[1] Wilder’s first major role was as Leopold Bloom in the 1968 film The Producers for which he was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor. This was the first in a series of collaborations with writer/director Mel Brooks, including 1974’s Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein, which Wilder co-wrote, garnering the pair an Academy Award nomination for Best Adapted Screenplay. Wilder is known for his portrayal of Willy Wonka in Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971) and for his four films with Richard Pryor: Silver Streak (1976), Stir Crazy (1980), See No Evil, Hear No Evil (1989), and Another You (1991).[1] Wilder directed and wrote several of his own films, including The Woman in Red (1984). His third wife was actress Gilda Radner, with whom he starred in three films, the last two of which he also directed. Her 1989 death from ovarian cancer led to his active involvement in promoting cancer awareness and treatment, helping found the Gilda Radner Ovarian Cancer Detection Center in Los Angeles and co-founding Gilda’s Club.

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