Posted in Quotes

Dates

 

Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla.    Jim Bishop

James Alonzo Bishop (November 21, 1907 – July 26, 1987) was an American journalist and author who wrote the bestselling book The Day Lincoln was Shot.

I know it is a chimp and not a gorilla, but hey it is still a good picture.

 

Posted in Quotes

Enthusiam

True enthusiasm is a fine feeling whose flash I admire where-ever I see it.    Charlotte Bronte

Charlotte Brontë (21 April 1816 – 31 March 1855) was an English novelist and poet, the eldest of the three Brontë sisters who survived into adulthood and whose novels have become classics of English literature.  She first published her works (including her best known novel, Jane Eyre) under the pen name Currer Bell.

Posted in Ameica's Big Game, My Views On The Real World, Outrageous Lies and Tales

The Genie and the Libertarian

 

Max looked over the dingy dented copper kettle, he noted the strange writing on it, he wondered how it got in the junk pile of  this old dilapidated cabin on this abandoned strip mine.  He shrugged and wondered if it was worth cleaning up or just throwing in the scrap pile.  Copper was going for about $2.93 a pound, not that this piece weighed more than a pound but every little bit helped in the scrap business.  He took his bandanna out of his pocket and rubbed it, maybe he could clean it up.

As soon as the cloth was swiped across the kettle a loud boom came from no where and everywhere smoke began to spew from the kettle’s spout.  Max dropped it and took a few steps back and promptly fell on his butt, that is when  a voice came from the smoke. “Who summons the genie of the lamp?” the smoke formed a cloud which then coalesced into a torso and head of a man.   The figure’s features got more and more sharp until Max could see he was  bare-chested, earrings in both of his ears with a very noble but unsmiling face.  The face began to look around and his eyes fell on Max.   “Are you the Master of the Lamp.”

Max shook his head blinked really hard and looked back up at the smoke and floating top half of the man.  “I am having a acid flashback.”  Max said out loud then shook his head again.  “That is not right, I grew up in the 80s and I have never done acid or any other hard drugs for that matter.”

The figure leaned over and looked at Max’s digital watch. “I see the age of science and reason still prevails, but have you heard the story of the genie of the lamp?”

Max raised an eyebrow quizzically.  “You mean Aladdin and the wizard with the booby trapped cavern?”

The top half of the man laughed, a big belly laugh. “I am in the presence of a an educated man.”

“Not really I barely graduated high school but I did read One Thousand and One Nights.”

“Good then you understand the basic principles of this, you are the Master of the Lamp, I am your slave to command, you have three wishes so choose wisely.”

Max raised his hand like he had been taught in class and Sunday school.

“No need to raise your hand Master, I take it you have a question well let me answer the most frequent asked questions and save us time.  No you cannot wish for more wishes.  No I cannot change the world or the past, I can only effect you, for example I can make you irresistible to women or rich or both.”  The genie smiled and winked at him.  ”Or like the last guy, he asked to be rich and famous, to say whatever he wanted and to be President of the United States.”

Max grimaced, so that is how the Oompa Loompa had done it.  Not with a deal with the devil but three wishes, he shook his head.  “Not my question but thanks for the information.”

The genie interrupted.  “Oh, you want to know if I can raise the dead, or make someone fall in love with you or perhaps kill your enemies.  Sorry but no on all three but I can make you a great undefeatable warrior so you can kill your own enemies.”  The genie said nodding enthusiastically.

Max shook his head no again.

The genie looked confused now. “Then master what is your question?”

“You say that since I found the lamp I am the master and you are my  slave.”

“Yes until I complete the three wishes then the lamp will vanish from sight along with your memory of me, the lamp will be cast to the winds of chance to another  location for someone else to find.”  The genie said as if this was common knowledge.  “So what is your command Master and please use the phrase ‘I wish’ that way I know you mean it.”

Max nodded understanding, then shook his head.  “I am sorry genie but I do not believe another person should be the slave to anyone else so I cannot make a wish that would be wrong.”

The genie raised his eyebrow.  “Excuse me?”

“I do not believe anyone should be forced to do anything against their will and I believe in a free exchange of goods and services between free and willing persons.  If you  are a slave that negates your freedom, I will not participate in the enslavement of anyone.”

The genie lowered himself down to Max’s eye level on the ground. “I do not understand you, this is your right, you own the lamp, therefore I am yours to command.”

“I may own the lamp, but that does not give me the right to take your freedom.  I will not participate in your forced servitude.

The genie scratched his head.  “So no wishes huh?

Max crossed his arms.  “Nope.”

The two stared at each other for a while.

“Anything I can do to change your mind?”

Max shook his head. “Nothing comes to mind.”

The genie put his hands on the cloud where his hips would be. “I cannot return home till I have granted your wishes.  So you must make three wishes so I can find a new master.”  Max must have had a confused look on his face so the genie spoke again.  “I cannot return home till I serve a hundred masters, you are my twenty-third master.”  The genie said matter or factly.  “You must make your wishes.”

“I will not.”  Max said standing up so he was even with the genie.

“We have a problem then Master.”  The genie said growing in size and his voice got deeper and louder and the smoke that made up the lower portion of his body got darker.

Max shook his head.

“You must.” The genie said towering over Max trying to intimidate him.

Max crossed his arms glaring back. “Nope.”

The two of them stared at each other, after a few minutes the two stopped and Max walked over to his nearby  ATV and drank from his canteen, he offered it to the genie who was watching him all this time.  The genie shrugged and floated over to him and Max extended the canteen to him, with that gesture Max had and idea.  “Can I make a wish for you?”

The genie looked at Max.  “No one has ever asked that question before.”  The genie said confused. “You would do that  for me Master?”

“Yes and please stop calling me Master, my name is Max, I am just a simple duck farmer out gathering a little copper for some cash.

“You are a duck farmer, I used to be a shepherd.”

Max nodded then continued. “Can I wish for you to be free?”

“I don’t see why not.”  The genie answered quickly grinning ear to ear.

Max stepped back and looked the genie in the eye.  “I wish

 

Just another piece in my ongoing efforts to examine my own libertarian/voluntarist/pacifistic anarchist world view point.

We Need a Monster

America’s Big Game

 

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Writing

A book is kind of like a river; I simply jump in and start swimming.   Melody Carlson

Melody Carlson is an accomplished Christian author for children, pre-teens, youth, and adults, with sales totaling more than two million.  Some of her most popular works are the Diary of a Teenage Girl books series (12 books and counting) and the True Colors book series.

 

Posted in Quotes

Necktie

I’ve found that you don’t need to wear a necktie if you can hit.    Ted Williams

Theodore Samuel Williams (August 30, 1918 – July 5, 2002) was an American professional baseball player and manager. He played his entire 19-year Major League Baseball (MLB) career as a left fielder for the Boston Red Sox from 1939 to 1960, excepting service time during World War II and the Korean War. Nicknamed “The Kid“, “The Splendid Splinter“, “Teddy Ballgame“, “The Thumper“, and “The Greatest Hitter Who Ever Lived“, Williams is regarded as one of the greatest players in baseball history. Williams was also an outstanding fielder, especially in the difficult left field of Fenway Park in Boston, where he played his entire Major League career at that position.

Williams was a nineteen-time All-Star, a two-time recipient of the American League (AL) Most Valuable Player Award, a six-time AL batting champion, and a two-time Triple Crown winner. He finished his playing career with a .344 batting average, 521 home runs, and a 0.482 on-base percentage, the highest of all time. His batting average is the highest of any MLB player with 302 or more home runs.

Williams served as a Naval Aviator during World War II and the Korean War. Unlike many other major league players, he did not spend all of his war-time playing on service teams.[131] Williams had been classified 3-A by Selective Service prior to the war, a dependency deferment because he was his mother’s sole means of financial support. When his classification was changed to 1-A following the American entry into World War II, Williams appealed to his local draft board. The draft board ruled that his draft status should not have been changed. He made a public statement that once he had built up his mother’s trust fund, he intended to enlist. Even so, criticism in the media, including withdrawal of an endorsement contract by Quaker Oats, resulted in his enlistment in the U.S. Navy Reserve on May 22, 1942.

 

I think that is true in any specialty field, if you are good enough no one will ever require you to dress in a affected manner.  

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Asleep

 I believe a lot of our lives are spent asleep, and what I’ve been trying to do is hold on to those moments when a little spark cuts through the fog and nudges you.  Rufus Wainwright

 

Rufus McGarrigle Wainwright (born July 22, 1973) is an American-Canadian singer, songwriter and composer. He has recorded seven albums of original music and numerous tracks on compilations and film soundtracks. He has also written a classical opera and set Shakespeare sonnets to music for a theater piece by Robert Wilson.

Posted in Quotes

Flattery

Flattery is like chewing gum. Enjoy it but don’t swallow it.    Hank Ketcham

 

Henry King Ketcham (March 14, 1920 – June 1, 2001), better known as Hank Ketcham, was an American cartoonist who created the Dennis the Menace comic strip, writing and drawing it from 1951 to 1994, when he retired from drawing the daily cartoon and took up painting full-time in his home studio. In 1953, he received the Reuben Award for the strip, which continues today in the hands of other artists.