Posted in Ameica's Big Game, My Views On The Real World

Stay Home

Mason Jar, 32 oz. - Pack of 12

Guy watched the news; it was the same thing every day. “This was a temporary emergency. Stay as close to home as possible, no unnecessary travel, conserve when you can, take care of your family.” That is what the news had been saying for a while, and Guy had found it easy to do, he did not want to go anywhere, his family grew a lot of what they needed so conserving what they had was just smart. Heck he was complying without trying.

A week later there was a change, Guy did not notice it at first, but the wording got a little different. “This was a temporary emergency. Stay home as much as possible, only necessary travel, conserve when you can, if you have trouble taking care of you family cooperation, with your local government might be necessary.” Guy went about working on his farm knowing he did not need any help taking care of his family. Then he thought about his mother, she lived in town in an Assisted Living Home. He decided to not just call her tomorrow but to go and see her.

At the high rise where his mother lived, Guy noted the presence of more staff than before and where the front desk was almost never manned there were now two people. This was the first time he had to give his name and who he was here to see. It was nice to see they cared. His mother was fine, she chewed his ear off about bingo, church and stuff on the news. Guy left but not before checking out her cupboards and seeing if they were well stocked.

Two weeks later Guy was helping his wife with her annual canning. She was serious about her canning and this year as he did every year he kiddingly complained about the perpetual mess in the kitchen and how everything tasted like whatever they were canning. The news was all ramped up about the problem and how it had grown much worse and the steps needed to ‘fight it’. This time the wording was much more direct. “This was a temporary emergency. Stay home, necessary travel was permitted, conserve and have an estimate of what you have on hand, contact your local government with your needs.” Guy turned off the news and had a second cup of coffee mulling over what he had just heard. Things were getting serious; he had checked with his wife about the food they had on hand and they had both decided it would do them a good while. Guy also thought that maybe his mother should come out to the farm, at least until the crisis passed over. He called her, she did not want to leave and assured him she was good where she was, and he was always such a worrier, but things were fine. Guy got off the phone and went to work, there was a fence he needed to mend.

Ten days later things changed again. The news now stated “This was a temporary emergency. Staying home is required, travel is limited to only the necessities of life, estimate how many supplies you have and if you can share with your neighbors if the need arises, local governments will be conducting a census to better assess the situation please cooperate.”

Guy was unsure how to take this, he was pretty much a homebody, but these requirements rubbed him the wrong way. He agreed with the need to stay home but he was not sure about staying home just because he was told. He decided to go into town that night to see his mother and if things were bad, he would bring her out to the farm. Driving in he saw several checkpoints, or maybe they were just guard posts to keep things calm, he was not sure what the difference was, but he made it to his mother’s building with no problems. Well that was until he got to the front door.

Pulling on the door he realized it was locked, it had never been locked before. He looked around for another way in, normally there were people sitting outside enjoying the evening, but no one was outside, he recalled the drive in there was no one on the city streets either just the occasional car, no one walking, no one out.

Trying the door again he was met by someone looking out. One of the people that had been sitting behind the desk the last time he was here. After a brief exchange he was turned away and then called his mother. He could tell something had changed in her tone, he heard something that he had heard only a few times before, she was afraid. She explained that the staff thought it best for everyone if they stayed in their apartments and did not venture outside. Guy tried to talk her into coming down to the lobby, but it was no use, she felt safe where she was, and he should go to where he would be safe as well and this was a temporary emergency. Guy drove home shaken.

Two days later changed everything. Again, the news reports changed subtly but seriously. “This was a temporary emergency. All law-abiding citizens are to remain in their homes, travel is limited to government officials and authorized activity only, a survey official will be visiting all homes to determine ways the government can better serve the community with allocation of resources. Fines and penalties will be placed against those not in compliance with the temporary special directives during this phase of the emergency.”

Guy watched the roads around his farm, there was hardly any traffic, his nearest neighbors knew nothing more than he did. On that day government officials came, they wore armbands to help identify themselves. Guy said very little. Their questions were polite and short, but Guy realized only one talked and asked questions while the other simply recorded his answers on a clip board. The conversation was about how the farm and garden were doing and they observed that the tomatoes had already been picked.

They left Guy but right before they left the one recording asked one question and one question only. “If it was necessary would you be willing to share with others in need.” Guy did not answer right away and before he could say a word the man simply nodded and made a notation on his clipboard then the both simply went away.

On the day the officials visited his home he attempted to contact his mother, he could not get through, just the recorded message, no lines available at this time, please try your call again later.

The next day he decided that his mother was coming out to the farm no matter what. When he got to her building it was locked up. He banged on the door, no one answered. He was looking around for a rock to break a window when a government official with an armband approached. A short conversation gave him all the answers he would ever get. The residents of the high rise had been moved for their own protection, he was unsure of where to and it would be best if he returned to his home for the duration of this temporary emergency.

He went to his truck.

When had things gotten so bad? What was happening? He loved his community, but he was unsure how to react to what was going on. Should he live as he had always lived? Should he speak up? Should he do something?

Or should he just go home.

 

Other stories and articles in the same vein.

We Need a Monster

The Big Game

Salesmanship 

The Genie and the Libertarian  

Posted in Ameica's Big Game, My Views On The Real World, Outrageous Lies and Tales

The Genie and the Libertarian

 

Max looked over the dingy dented copper kettle, he noted the strange writing on it, he wondered how it got in the junk pile of  this old dilapidated cabin on this abandoned strip mine.  He shrugged and wondered if it was worth cleaning up or just throwing in the scrap pile.  Copper was going for about $2.93 a pound, not that this piece weighed more than a pound but every little bit helped in the scrap business.  He took his bandanna out of his pocket and rubbed it, maybe he could clean it up.

As soon as the cloth was swiped across the kettle a loud boom came from no where and everywhere smoke began to spew from the kettle’s spout.  Max dropped it and took a few steps back and promptly fell on his butt, that is when  a voice came from the smoke. “Who summons the genie of the lamp?” the smoke formed a cloud which then coalesced into a torso and head of a man.   The figure’s features got more and more sharp until Max could see he was  bare-chested, earrings in both of his ears with a very noble but unsmiling face.  The face began to look around and his eyes fell on Max.   “Are you the Master of the Lamp.”

Max shook his head blinked really hard and looked back up at the smoke and floating top half of the man.  “I am having a acid flashback.”  Max said out loud then shook his head again.  “That is not right, I grew up in the 80s and I have never done acid or any other hard drugs for that matter.”

The figure leaned over and looked at Max’s digital watch. “I see the age of science and reason still prevails, but have you heard the story of the genie of the lamp?”

Max raised an eyebrow quizzically.  “You mean Aladdin and the wizard with the booby trapped cavern?”

The top half of the man laughed, a big belly laugh. “I am in the presence of a an educated man.”

“Not really I barely graduated high school but I did read One Thousand and One Nights.”

“Good then you understand the basic principles of this, you are the Master of the Lamp, I am your slave to command, you have three wishes so choose wisely.”

Max raised his hand like he had been taught in class and Sunday school.

“No need to raise your hand Master, I take it you have a question well let me answer the most frequent asked questions and save us time.  No you cannot wish for more wishes.  No I cannot change the world or the past, I can only effect you, for example I can make you irresistible to women or rich or both.”  The genie smiled and winked at him.  ”Or like the last guy, he asked to be rich and famous, to say whatever he wanted and to be President of the United States.”

Max grimaced, so that is how the Oompa Loompa had done it.  Not with a deal with the devil but three wishes, he shook his head.  “Not my question but thanks for the information.”

The genie interrupted.  “Oh, you want to know if I can raise the dead, or make someone fall in love with you or perhaps kill your enemies.  Sorry but no on all three but I can make you a great undefeatable warrior so you can kill your own enemies.”  The genie said nodding enthusiastically.

Max shook his head no again.

The genie looked confused now. “Then master what is your question?”

“You say that since I found the lamp I am the master and you are my  slave.”

“Yes until I complete the three wishes then the lamp will vanish from sight along with your memory of me, the lamp will be cast to the winds of chance to another  location for someone else to find.”  The genie said as if this was common knowledge.  “So what is your command Master and please use the phrase ‘I wish’ that way I know you mean it.”

Max nodded understanding, then shook his head.  “I am sorry genie but I do not believe another person should be the slave to anyone else so I cannot make a wish that would be wrong.”

The genie raised his eyebrow.  “Excuse me?”

“I do not believe anyone should be forced to do anything against their will and I believe in a free exchange of goods and services between free and willing persons.  If you  are a slave that negates your freedom, I will not participate in the enslavement of anyone.”

The genie lowered himself down to Max’s eye level on the ground. “I do not understand you, this is your right, you own the lamp, therefore I am yours to command.”

“I may own the lamp, but that does not give me the right to take your freedom.  I will not participate in your forced servitude.

The genie scratched his head.  “So no wishes huh?

Max crossed his arms.  “Nope.”

The two stared at each other for a while.

“Anything I can do to change your mind?”

Max shook his head. “Nothing comes to mind.”

The genie put his hands on the cloud where his hips would be. “I cannot return home till I have granted your wishes.  So you must make three wishes so I can find a new master.”  Max must have had a confused look on his face so the genie spoke again.  “I cannot return home till I serve a hundred masters, you are my twenty-third master.”  The genie said matter or factly.  “You must make your wishes.”

“I will not.”  Max said standing up so he was even with the genie.

“We have a problem then Master.”  The genie said growing in size and his voice got deeper and louder and the smoke that made up the lower portion of his body got darker.

Max shook his head.

“You must.” The genie said towering over Max trying to intimidate him.

Max crossed his arms glaring back. “Nope.”

The two of them stared at each other, after a few minutes the two stopped and Max walked over to his nearby  ATV and drank from his canteen, he offered it to the genie who was watching him all this time.  The genie shrugged and floated over to him and Max extended the canteen to him, with that gesture Max had and idea.  “Can I make a wish for you?”

The genie looked at Max.  “No one has ever asked that question before.”  The genie said confused. “You would do that  for me Master?”

“Yes and please stop calling me Master, my name is Max, I am just a simple duck farmer out gathering a little copper for some cash.

“You are a duck farmer, I used to be a shepherd.”

Max nodded then continued. “Can I wish for you to be free?”

“I don’t see why not.”  The genie answered quickly grinning ear to ear.

Max stepped back and looked the genie in the eye.  “I wish

 

Just another piece in my ongoing efforts to examine my own libertarian/voluntarist/pacifistic anarchist world view point.

We Need a Monster

America’s Big Game

 

Posted in Ameica's Big Game, Quotes

President

bill clinton

Being president is like running a cemetery: you’ve got a lot of people under you and nobody’s listening.   William J. Clinton

William JeffersonBillClinton (born William Jefferson Blythe III; August 19, 1946) is an American politician who was the 42nd President of the United States from 1993 to 2001. Clinton was previously Governor of Arkansas from 1979 to 1981 and 1983 to 1992, and the Arkansas Attorney General from 1977 to 1979. A member of the Democratic Party, ideologically Clinton was a New Democrat, and many of his policies reflected a centristThird Way” political philosophy.

bill_clinton

Very close to:   Being president is like being a jackass in a hailstorm. There’s nothing to do but to stand there and take it.  Lyndon B. Johnson

Posted in Ameica's Big Game, My Views On The Real World

New Rules For The Next Presidential Election

 none-of-the-above-logo

New Rules For The Next Presidential Election

Okay folks I am calling this one  a total loss.   We most likely will be getting one of the two highly disliked and untrustworthy clowns as the head of the Executive branch of government.    We have four years to implement some new rules so my suggestions are as follows.

Rule 1:  If you have ever repeatedly and with purposeful intent been in more than one “reality show” or “unscripted dramas”, “improvisational programs” or any show that places people in contrived situations without dialogue being provided and without rehearsal beforehand and it’s sole purpose was to make money, then you are eliminated from the pool of eligible candidates for the highest office in the land.   We do not need someone with a maturity of a child in a hotel swimming pool.  (Hey Dad, Hey Dad, Hey Dad, watch this, watch this, Hey Dad watch me.)

Rule 2:  If you are related to either by marriage or blood to a person who was previously the President of the United States you are not allowed to run.  This is America we have no need for a monarchy, dynasty or a ruling class.   We have over 319 million people in this country surely we can find someone other than a Bush, Kennedy, Roosevelt, Clinton, or Obama.  (My prediction Michelle will become Senator and then will try to get back to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.)  This will make it harder for future school children to remember a President’s name but we all have to make sacrifices.

 Rule 3:  If you are the second runner up in the election (which means you are the first place loser) then while your opponent is running the country your also get to serve in a slightly different capacity.  You will be given the head principal position at an inner city high school and have to live at the school in an apartment provided for you.  Your claimed you wanted to serve, well now is the time to prove both your abilities and willingness.  (If as Principal you hold a press conference you must devote 99%  of the time talking about bake sales, test scores and the funding to fix the roof, the gym floor and/or the copy machine.)  Maybe after running a school for four years you will be more palatable to the American public.

Rule 4:  Essay, Section 1.   All candidates will be locked in separate rooms on some military base or other secure location.  You will be given a five questions, about such topics as civil liberties, world affairs, taxes and other important topics.   While locked up you can either dictate your answers to a stenographer,  write them long hand, or use a computer with no internet access.  You will have two days to answer these questions.  After you are  finished a goverment school teacher of your choice may help you edit for grammar, style and spelling.   All essays will then be submitted to 100 random public high school students in a blind survey.  Each student  will either give you a plus or minus for each answer.  If you do not get at least 75 pluses then you will not be allowed to go onto the next round.   Your grades will be posted and your essay can be read by the American public.  One week later there will be a big reveal matching the candidate to the answer.

Rule 5:   Essay, Section 2, You and four advisers will be placed a secure location with no internet and given questions to answer.   For this round  no teacher may help you with grammar, style or spelling.  Then your raw answers will be placed on a website and the public can see your answers, again with no names attached for a week.

Rule 6:   You must get a letter from your high school math teacher stating that you did your own homework and if not who the teacher suspects  did the homework for you.

Rule 7:  (Applies only if Rule 6 shows you did not do your own math homework.)  You must produce the person who did your math homework for you and they must swear under oath weather or not they were paid (money, promise of a date,  or simply sweet talk) or if they were threaten (physical violence  or social bullying).   This person will then tell what type of person you were in school and how many pimples you had.

Rule 8:  You must produce while filing your intent to run for President of the United States of America at least ten different pictures of you and a pet.   All pictures must have been placed on social media over the last three years and at least one if not more cleaning up after your pet.  This will show that you have a heart and that you realize there are somethings you cannot control.

These eight simple rules might not make this a better process  but at least make it less of popularity contest and more about stuff that might actually mean something as opposed to the name calling, grandstanding, flag waving and overall silliness that we have now.

 

giantmeteor

Also in the political arena We Need a Monster, Salemanship and  America’s Big Game.