I stared out the window to ensure I did not get car sick.  Motion sickness was not usually a problem but I had been sitting in the back of this car for close to an hour reading and the driver was not the best and the rain was uneven making the ride, inconsistent.

“Almost there honey.” 

I turned away from the window and looked at Millie’s beautiful blue eyes and simply nodded. She had that look of love she got when she was putting me through the wringer and I was being ‘okay’ with it.  I nodded happily and smiled back at her. “Glad to hear it.” 

Millie turned back around and continued talking to the uneven driver, Sarah. Sarah spoke. “Now that we are over the bridge it is only five more traffic lights and then three stop signs and then past the green gate, to the green gate.”

Millie spoke with a bit of concern. “You sure you do not want me to plug the address into the GPS?” She said holding up her phone to show it was no problem.

Sarah waved a hand dramatically in response and the car took a little swerve to the right, not enough to hit anything but to make it felt, especially in the back seat. “No darling I have been here a couple of times and I have an innate sense of direction.”

The innate sense of direction resulted in three wrong turns, one which was down a dead-end street.  Luckily, there was very little traffic as we happened to be driving into a tropical storm.  Miles believed their arrival at the address was more due to running out of roads to go down then Sarah knowing where they were going.

Sarah dialed a number on her phone and simply stated. “We are here at the gate please open up.”  There was no response back but slowly the massive ornate metal green gate started to open.  “See no problem.”

I so badly wanted to say something sarcastic and biting but one look from Millie showed she agreed with me, and since I did not want to aggravate her on this trip and my comment would not gain back the thirty extra minutes we had just lost wandering around in a tropical storm, I held it in.  As we entered a large van with several people in the back were departing, I silently wished them well getting them to where they were going.

Why was I riding in the back of a Range Rover on the Gulf Coast of Florida going into the teeth of a tropical storm?  I blame Walt Disney and his love of pie. 

Walt Disney was a man of simple tastes, I think this can be attributed to a number of factors: growing up in the Midwest, a not so well-off upbringing in the aforementioned Midwestern States, and then struggling financially for several years as a grown man.  He liked diner food; his daughter Diane described her father as having hash house/lunch wagon appetite. 

So, it would surprise no one when he traveled that he would eat at a diner, and Millie’s Diner was around long before Millie owned it, she bought it from a guy who had ran it into the ground after owning it only a few years. He had bought it from the orginal owner/operator a husband-and-wife team Ian and Sadie Oswald. And just like today the Oswald Diner served fantastic pie.

A few years after Millie bought the diner, she was adding onto the back of the diner, making a space for meetings and parties.  In order to cut some costs, she had me do some labor, that labor being tearing out a wall, which meant climbing into a crawl space which is where I found the reason for our trip today.  In that dusty cardboard package was a framed picture of the Oswald’s sitting with Walter Elias Disney with a fork raised in salute over a plate of half-eaten pie, most likely apple, or it could have been peach.

Millie had hung the picture on the wall behind the cash register, unremarked until Sarah saw it.  Sarah was a rich uber Disney fan and a collector. She had seen it after a late-night pie binge with several of her friends who were richer but ruder than her and called the diner a ‘greasy spoon.’  Eventually Sarah and Millie became friends all the while Sarah was trying to buy the Walt Disney photograph.

Sarah had invited Millie and I to this weekend getaway which Sarah clearly stated was said one more attempt to buy the photograph from Millie.  It was a weekend for a bunch of exclusive collectors of Walt Disney photographs that were not official Walt Disney Company photos.  Sarah had said that no matter what any of these collectors offered she would pay ten thousand dollars more. 

Now my girl Millie is a reasonable businesswoman, but she loved that photograph and I once kidded her if she could save either me or the photograph from a fire, she would save the photo first.  When she did not immediately correct me, I gave her a sideways stare.  She stated brilliant but constantly broke Private Investigators were a dozen for a dime but that Walt Disney photo was priceless.  These weekend would prove if it really was priceless or not.

We entered the estate, the only word that could describe the property. The place had a good hundred yards of shoreline, which in this neighborhood of million-dollar houses that only had twenty feet of oceanfront this place was huge.  I noticed an enclosed boat house, which with these waves coming in, on the typically serene gulf coast, meant that they had either lifted the watercraft up out of the water or the boat and the boathouse would have been smashed to pieces.  There was a person in the classic yellow rain slicker securing the door and walking briskly towards the rear of the house.

We were directed to a covered parking area by a man who Sarah called Maxwell  in similar rain slicker and umbrella near the main house where we could disembark without becoming immediately drenched.  

After getting our precious cargo out of the trunk and into the house I took in the place, white on white with some splashes of teal and pinks, in other words basic rich Florida beach decor.  We were called out of the entry way by our host who was at the top of a white wooden staircase.

“Greetings, greetings.”  The older lady said as we entered the huge living room area, she air kissed Sarah and did the same to Millie, she smiled a pleasant hello towards me, but did not attempt to engage me due to my burden.  “And you must be Miles, Sarah has told me so much about you, but please put your package right there.”

I noted the empty easel sitting on long table with a white tablecloth, along with another one and carefully placed the framed piece on the easel carefully, making sure I had not inadvertently flipped it upside down. 

“Perfect sir, if you could cut the strings but not reveal the piece until we are all gathered after dinner.” I nodded; this lady had a bit of showmanship in her.

“Thank you, Miles,” She reached out her manicured hand and I now shook it, her grip was strong unlike some older ladies whom you thought would break if they lifted to heavy a pot of tea.  “My name is Cynthia Dogwood and welcome to my home, I am so sorry about the weather.”

“Not much you can do about it ma’am.”  I said smiling shrugging. “Floridians like me just accept the weather,” I motioned towards the floor to ceiling windows. “these little blows are a way of life.”

“Yes, I have lived here all my life as well,”  She was distracted when a thirty something man came singing down the hall, a Disney song to be exact, Whale of A Tale.  The singer entered the room from deeper within the house. “oh, Samuel there you are.  The last of our guests have arrived. Everyone this is my nephew Samuel, my sister’s son.” 

Samuel greeted Sarah with a kiss on the cheek but when he turned to Millie, I saw a wolf like glance cross his face, as though Millie would be a tasty morsel for him to devour.  I immediately wanted to give him a punch in his good-looking face and dislodge one of his perfect white teeth.  He took Millie’s hand and did a cheesy kiss on it while saying something in French I could not make out.  Not that I speak French.  Millie responded with a curt smile, she did speak a smattering of French but did not reward him with one of her pleasant smiles, she actually gave him one of her patented ‘I am dealing with a difficult customer’ smiles.

He did not notice the look and then turned directly towards me.  I extended my hand and he shook it like he was trying to intimidate me, I simply nodded and reciprocated with simple firmness.  “Ah the Private Eye, Sarah has told us a bit about you, the Disney expert.”

I let the Private Eye thing slide. “Oh, I am no expert, just really familiar with the parks.”  I tried to take the focus off me.  “So, is everything good out in the boat house, are your vessels out of the water?”

Cynthia answered for Samuel. “We don’t currently have any boats, I never really enjoyed them.”  Then she turned to Samuel. “Samuel what were you doing out at the boat house.”

“It wasn’t me Aunt Cynthia, it must have been Maxwell double checking on things.”

Cynthia Dogwood nodded and turned back to us.  “Well, everyone is here, dinner will be in an hour, I will show you to your rooms and you can freshen up before dinner, it will be buffet style as I just sent all the staff home, I hope everyone enjoys it.”

A short while later Millie and I were in our assigned room I was laying on the bed tossing a ball I had in my suitcase for times when I am bored, like I knew I would be this weekend.  Millie came out of the bathroom after doing whatever she did in there for a half hour without taking a shower.  If I spent a half hour in a bathroom ‘freshening up’ I would have shaved, showered and the other thing beginning with an ‘s’ and looking about the same afterwards.

Millie grabbed the ball out of the air mid throw and I sat up.   “Whatever you were doing in there you are more beautiful every time I see you.”

She winked at me and threw the ball back to me and went over to a vanity with a chair and started putting on earrings.   I looked out the window and through the blowing rain I saw another figure a classic yellow rain slicker with hood pulled up tight, leave the boathouse, after fidgeting with the door and walk briskly towards the main house. “Better you than me buddy.” I said. 

“What was that honey?” Millie asked. “Can you help me with this clasp.” Millie added.  I turned from the window and walked over to help put on a necklace.  I did up the clasp and then kissed her on the neck and she shooed me away.  I smiled and with that frustration we went to have dinner. 

We found our way to the dining room and met the other guests to the party.  There was Warren and Noreen, he was a Marketing Executive and she was a Podiatrist, cue a variety of foot jokes from the husband.  Then there was Douglas Overed, I was not sure what he did but he did appear rich and without the social grace of most people.  Then there was Maxwell the major domo to Cynthia Dogwood our host.

Joining us last was Samuel making an apology to his aunt that he had been watching the Weather Channel.  I saw a look of unpleasantness cross her face but it passed quickly as she turned back towards her guests. The meal was pleasant enough and polite conversations were made. 

Douglas talked about his trip to South America retracing some of the steps of Walt Disney during his trip in 1941 and visiting Angel Falls in Venezuela to see what inspired the animated film Up.

Noreen chimed in and talked about a medical service trip to Columbia where she did some volunteer work.  Cynthia chimed in and added that Samuel had been there recently as well. Douglas decided not to be outdone added that he had spent time in Columbia as well to see some of the sights of Encanto.  
Samuel turned to Millie and asked her about her travels in an attempt to include her in the conversation.  Millie talked about living in Japan as an Air Force brat.  Cynthia being a good host tried to draw me into the conversation and I deflected her questions by bringing up the weather.  Which drew everyone’s attention away from my non-answer about travels.

At the end of the meal Cynthia asked us to join us in the living room for the main event after placing our plates in the kitchen to assist Maxwell as all the other staff were sent home earlier due to the storm.  As we picked up our plates, I was the first to follow Maxwell into the kitchen and I noticed he had a transdermal patch behind his ear, the kind that did a time release medicine, the most common that I knew of was for seasickness.  Millie had stocked up on them before we went on a cruise, luckily, she did not need them.

“Thank you.”  Maxwell said as Millie and I brought a second arm load into the kitchen after everyone else had brough in one load. “But I can get the rest from the Wardroom.”

I raised an eyebrow at the term, wardroom then I made an educated guess.   “Navy?”

“The Silent Service actually.”

“What do you call a priest on a submarine?”

“A holy diver.”

Maxwell laughed at the old joke. “Navy?”

“Coast Guard.” I replied.

We shook hands.

“Helmsman to start then Operations.”

I nodded, submarine driver, pretty prestigious.  Miles returns the information swap pointing a thumb towards himself.  “Gunnery Mate then Intelligence.”

Maxwell nods. “Very good, then I got out and worked private nautical construction company here in Florida in Research and Development.” 

“Very cool.”  I was about to ask how he to be in household service from a job in R and D but Maxwell came back with a joke.  

“Did you hear the Coast Guard recently changed their minimum height requirements to 6′.”

I short circuited his joke by responding with the punch line. “That way if the boat sinks everyone can just walk to shore.”

He laughed at my response then smiled at both of us. “Thanks for the help, but I can finish up here, you should get to the front room.”

We nodded and made our way to the room where the other guests were gathered. The group was seated and Millie and I were split up, I ended up sitting next to Sarah and Millie ended up between Samuel and the awkward Douglas on the couch.  Cynthia nodded and stood. “Well now that we are all here, I would like to thank everyone for coming even through this dreadful weather we are having. I received a call from the Sheriff’s department that the drawbridge to the mainland was damaged but should be repaired by noon tomorrow. This caused a few murmurs but no one seemed overly concerned, the house was solid and the rain while blowing and causing high waves was just an interesting hindrance.

“So, with all the mundane details covered.”  I liked Cynthia she thought a lot like I did, must be a native Floridian thing.

Cynthia continued. “Who would like to reveal their treasure first?”

To finish the story visit: 

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If you want to read the orginal collection of Miles Mitchell Mysteries you can buy it at Dorrance Publishing.  (Physical Copy or e-book format)   Also there are various places to purchase the Miles Mitchell Mysteries in audio format. 

Volume 2 of the Miles Mitchell Mysteries can be found at Smashwords.com.  (e-book format only)

Categories: A Miles Mitchell Story

Tags: Columbo, Miles Mitchell, MMM, murder, Photographs, The Miles Mitchell Mysteries, Walter Elias Disney