The Simmons needed a champion, but they got me your friendly neighborhood private investigator. I get drawn into people’s stories sometimes simply because I pay attention to the world around me. I met the Simmons while I was doing some surveillance at a cheap chain motel.
No-tell motel cases are not my favorite but they pay the bills. I had been in this parking lot all night and I was just wrapping up the surveillance of the lustful couple, I got their comings and goings and a licentious kiss from the cheating spouse to the person he was stepping out with.
I was packing up my camera when I first noticed Mr. Simmons, he was pacing the parking lot, yelling on his phone. It was a Saturday morning and I could hear him talking about being cheated. I listened, I could not help it, he said things that piqued my interest. He said Disney World many times and all the windows were down as my AC was still not working properly. And by properly, I mean at all, it did not blow cold, it did not blow hot, it did not even make a sound when I turned it on.
So here was a person in need so I offered my help concerning Disney.
“Having a bit of problem sir?” I said leaning against my car and offering him a stick of gum after he hung up the phone.
“Yeah, you could say that.” He said taking the Juicy Fruit.
The next twenty minutes were a tale of a man working hard to take his family on vacation. How they had searched for a deal and thought they had found it. Sending in a deposit and thinking that the tickets would be waiting for them at the motel when they arrived last night. They weren’t.
Now when you have an attraction as big, and as mind numbingly successful as Walt Disney World you are going to have secondary business. Some of the hotel chains have partnered with the Disney Company in what is called the Good Neighbor Partners, with buses to and from the parks and other special deals. There are also cheap clones and watered-down copycats, these are unavoidable and ultimately accepted.
But wise old Walt Disney wanted to keep the outside world as far as possible from his new vision. Walt hated the neon and concrete sprawl that grew outside of Disneyland. He hated, and I mean hated with a capital H anyone tampering with his vision. When buying the land in Florida at one point Roy, the financial mastermind and equal partner to Walt asked, “Isn’t that enough land?” Walt turned to his older, more grounded, more economically savvy brother and said. “How much would you love to own the land around Disneyland right now?” Roy thought it over for a whole second and replied, “I’ll get money for more land.”
But the borders of Disney World have to stop somewhere so Route 192 and International Drive grew, the whole concrete jungle, hotels, motels, chain restaurants, gas stations, and so forth. All good, all legitimate businesses.
And then there are the scavengers, the scroungers, the vultures, and the predators. Those who take advantage of others, more like leeches and ticks, parasitic blood suckers. I am sure outside of the Colosseum in ancient Rome there were hucksters, con men and swindlers selling fake tickets and cheap gladiator merchandise. The same is true for the most magical place on Earth. Unfortunately, the Simmons family had fallen for it.
W.C. Fields the movie star and juggler said, “You can’t cheat an honest man.” Now I hate to contradict the great juggler but I disagree, a good honest man trying to do right thinks others are as honest as he is.
The Simmons had traveled down from Alabama after buying discount tickets online from a company called Sherpa Services. They even talked to a nice lady over the phone who assured him the tickets would be waiting for them. After driving nine hours they arrived and no tickets. This began a series of phone calls to the agency, meeting with no response, followed by repeated attempts this morning, then a phone call to the Better Business Bureau, Disney itself and finally the police. At the culmination of the calls entered the friendly neighborhood private investigator.
No one could help them or at least not in a timely manner that would save the family trip. Now I have no special pull with Disney, they do their thing, I do mine and I try to never cross any lines, I do not even advertise that I work cases on Disney property, just word gets around that it’s my specialty.
But I knew Disney and Universal hated scammers like this and would do what they could to stop them. The parks would rather get money directly from consumers themselves and then they would provide the best product available for the money. Things like this splashed mud on their image. Not good for business. But they were limited in what they could do. The same with local law enforcement. It boiled down to ‘caveat emptor’ or let the buyer beware.
That was not going to help the Simmons. So, I called a friend, a travel agent who knew the tourist trade in Orlando better than I did. He set them up with cheap passes for Sea World. No castle but some jumping fish so not terrible. While my friend took care of the Simmons, I started hunting a villain.
My first stop, well multiple stops was to the scam booths along Route 192 and International Drive. These are small kiosks usually outside of large chain food places or much larger stores, they take up about three parking spaces and have bright Disney like lettering in neon colors advertising rock bottom prices of park tickets. They sell Universal, Disney and other attraction tickets at prices below regular walk up to the gate prices.
This makes absolutely no profitable sense. They will tell you it’s because they buy in bulk, don’t believe them.
“Hey, I am looking for some tickets, how much to go to Animal Kingdom today?”
“How many people sir?”
“Ah just me and the wife, she is shopping.” I said, motioning towards the souvenir shop across the parking lot.
“Right sir.” He did something on his computer. Probably checking on Facebook and nothing to do with this transaction. “We have a special right now, two tickets, for one Disney parks.” He then quoted me a price that was half the price for a ticket.”
“That sounds great.” I said, “getting out my wallet.
Then he spoke again. “For another twenty dollars I can upgrade to a park hopper so if you get tired of the Animal Kingdom you can go to another park, the Magic Kingdom is open late tonight.”
I thought, ‘This guy is good.’ Yeah, the Magic Kingdom was open late tonight, but only for a special event, and regular guests would have to leave at seven p.m. That is when I saw a bundles of pizza fliers on the counter with two words that leapt off the paper at me.
Paydirt. Pizza fliers are slipped under hotel room doors. The scheme goes something like this. You come back from a long day in the parks, tired, hungry, and lo and behold a pizza coupon is right there for you. One large pies and a two liter of soda for a great price. You call, you say you have a coupon and they offer to take your credit card number. They take it and no pizza ever arrives, now you are hungrier, someone is charging gift cards up on your credit card and your day is ending badly. Sometimes while slipping pizza fliers under the door, they see if it is open so can do a quick heist of whatever is handy. I needed to distract this guy.
“Hey what you got for Universal, I think I would rather ride some roller coasters than see the Lion King.” He went back to the computer and I surreptitiously snatched the paper order form that was wrapped around a stack of fliers.
I smiled at my luck probably more than I should have and the guy looked at where I had been looking, the pizza flier stack and realized that there was something off about them and me.
He squinted his eyes and I lost my poker face for just a second. That is when he knew that I knew that he knew I was not a regular tourist looking for a cheap deal.
“Get out.” He said sternly.
“What about my tickets?” I said vainly.
“No sale. We are closed.” He started to come around the desk.
To finish the story buy the book at: 
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If you want to read the orginal collection of Miles Mitchell Mysteries you can buy it at Dorrance Publishing. (Physical Copy or e-book format) Also there are various places to purchase the Miles Mitchell Mysteries in audio format.
Volume 2 of the Miles Mitchell Mysteries can be found at Smashwords.com. (e-book format only)
Categories: A Miles Mitchell Story, Outrageous Lies and Tales
Stories and Quotes from the Mind* and Keyboard of A.A.Forringer 
Witty observation, disparaging remark, question for A.A., well this is your chance.