3 minutes without air

3 hours without proper shelter/clothing

3 days without water

3 weeks without food

3 months without hope.

The Rule of Three’s is a survival mantra.  A guideline for your priorities in a life and death struggle. But is it? Can you go longer without the last one? 

The Uruguayan rugby team crash landed high in the Andes mountains it took 72 days for them to be rescued, and they did it on their own as the search had been called off.  After hearing on a small transistor radio one shouted “Hey boys!” one of them shouted to the rest of the survivors. “There’s good news. They’ve called off the search.”

“Why the hell is that good news?” yelled one in response.

“Because it means we’re going to get out of here on our own.”

Some of them obviously never lost hope, I suspect that the ones that did lose hope died on the mountain as 29 survived the crash but only 16 lived through the whole ordeal.

Hugh Glass attacked by a grizzly, survived, barely and was left for dead by his comrades, who also took his gun and knife.  But Hugh then set his own leg, allowed maggots to eat from his wounds to stop gangrene while traveling 260 miles in six weeks to Fort Kiowa. He then lived another ten years recovering his rifle from the men who left him for dead. 

Or Juliane Koepcke a 17-year-old girl who survived a plane crash in the Peruvian rain forest and navigated the jungle with a broken collar bone and wounded arm which lead to a maggot infestation. 

These are incredible stories of survival.  Yes, these people never gave up hope.  But what happens when you are not in a life and death situation.   

We all hope for things.  ‘I hope I get that job.’  ‘I hope this date goes well.’  ‘I hope my book sells.’

I hope ________.  A powerful phrase and desire for something in the future to go a certain way.  It might not even be a good thing you hope for.  ‘I hope my friend does not get that job and move away.’  ‘I hope they do not like each other because I love her.’ ‘I hope he passes away soon; he is in so much pain.’  These are things we should never say aloud, and we are ashamed of even thinking, but these desired outcomes come to our mind, nevertheless.  We are not bad people because of them, they are simply thoughts. 

Is hope like a fire?

Fire is essential in survival situations, for heat, for light, for signaling.  If you have ever done any camping, especially in a place where there is no electricity, a fire is the focal point, whether it be a campfire, or a kerosene heater in an Army tent during a Korean winter, or a propane stove that your Boy Scouts are cooking on that will provide warm food.  Fire is a fundamental thing for mankind, we gather around fire to tell stories and to be together.

Fire and Hope both need three things to exist.  Fire needs: Heat, oxygen, and fuel.  Take one of these items away and the fire will die.  So, what are the things we need for hope?  Hope needs: Goals, Pathways and Agency.  Just like fire if you take away one of those things your hope will die. 

Recently I have been asking myself about hope, my hope in things. For years I have been hoping to make a living as a writer, more specifically a fiction writer.  I think my books, my stories, my tales are fairly decent, not the worst, certainly not the best in the world, but entertaining, amusing, not a complete waste of time to read.    

The first part of my Hope is my Goal: to become more financially secure by selling books (or at least getting a return from all the money I have spent over the years). 

I have attempted to go down many Pathways: churning out four books and six short stories in my science fiction universe, two MMM books and a bunch of other pieces.   Then there is my monetary commitment for three websites, book covers, fliers, magnets, business cards, and the last big outlay, a vanity press printing of my book.  Then the time, time spent in a futile search for a friendly literary agent, hours trying to promote my books through podcasts, and time listening to other podcasts for tip and tricks on how to promote your own books.  Then the pestering of my friends, family, coworkers, and strangers with my excitement for my written works.

As for Agency: (Believing that you can instigate change and achieve these goals.) I have believed all the methods I have tried.  I have invested my emotional energy in all these things believing they would lead to success. 

But lately I am not so sure anymore. I would like to think that I have tried to followed Winston Churchill’s philosophy  “Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.”  In my heart I have believed, maybe this podcast, maybe this magnet, maybe this agent, will be the hammer blow that cracks the rock of book sales.

So, when should I quit?  When should I let my fire of hope die? Have I reached a point that I am throwing good money and energy down the black hole that my book promotion has become?

Maybe it is time to put that goal of recouping my financial investment on my writing away and just enjoy the writing process.  Writing is part of my personality now, it is who I am, I am a writer, a storyteller. I do not believe I could ever stop writing if I did it would not be a good thing, as Franz Kafka remarked. “A non-writing writer is a monster courting insanity.”

I also believe I have lost hope about any sort of romantic relationship, but I have no desire to dissect that.  Let me just say, I enjoy my own company increasingly each year and I am not sure I am even capable of living with anyone ever again.  I am not sure I would want to put another woman through the process of adapting to me or me to her.  

Have I lived up to what one of my favorite creative people has said repeatedly?  “Live a “Why not?” life, man. Take the shot. The shot is always worth taking.” So, have I taken my shot, is it time to just write and not worry about sales? To write for the pure enjoyment of creating.  (Although I will still do book covers, even though they are expensive, I do love creating them with my friend Graham.) 

I cannot control my book sales, that is apparent.  Sometimes you do not get a return on your investment, sometimes you fail. Even the best of intentions do not guarantee a win.  Questioning if I should let my hope die and just enjoy the things I can.  Can I not worry, fuss, fret, and agonize over promoting my writing?  When a certain hope die is it something I can live with?

Categories: My Views On The Real World, You Are Not Special

Tags: Andes, Franz Kafka, grizzly attack, hope, Hugh Glass, Kevin Smith, plane crash, rule of threes, survival, Winston Churchill