Posted in Movie Speeches

Catch 22- Speech

alan-arkin

 

Catch-22 is a satirical novel (then a movie starring Alan Arkin) written by American author Joseph Heller. He began writing it in 1953; the novel was first published in 1961. It is frequently cited as one of the greatest literary works of the twentieth century. It uses a distinctive non-chronological third-person omniscient narration, describing events from the points of view of different characters. The separate storylines are out of sequence so the timeline develops along with the plot.

The novel’s title refers to a plot device that is repeatedly invoked in the story. Catch-22 starts as a set of paradoxical requirements whereby airmen mentally unfit to fly did not have to do so, but could not actually be excused. By the end of the novel it is invoked as the explanation for many unreasonable restrictions. The phrase “Catch-22” has since entered the English language, referring to a type of unsolvable logic puzzle sometimes called a double bind. According to the novel, people who were crazy were not obliged to fly missions, but anyone who applied to stop flying was showing a rational concern for his safety and was, therefore, sane and had to fly.

Dr. ‘Doc’ Daneeka: Of course he is. He has to be crazy to keep flying after all the close calls he’s had.

Yossarian: Why can’t you ground him?

Dr. ‘Doc’ Daneeka: I can, but first he has to ask me.

Yossarian: That’s all he’s gotta do to be grounded?

Dr. ‘Doc’ Daneeka: That’s all.

Yossarian: Then you can ground him?

Dr. ‘Doc’ Daneeka: No. Then I cannot ground him.

Yossarian: Aah!

Dr. ‘Doc’ Daneeka: There’s a CATCH?

Yossarian: A catch?

Dr. ‘Doc’ Daneeka: Sure. Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat isn’t really crazy, so I can’t ground him.

Yossarian: Ok, let me see if I’ve got this straight. In order to be grounded, I’ve got to be crazy. And I must be crazy to keep flying. But if I ask to be grounded, that means I’m not crazy anymore, and I have to keep flying.

Dr. ‘Doc’ Daneeka: You got it, that’s Catch-22.

Yossarian: Whoo… That’s some catch, that Catch-22.

Dr. ‘Doc’ Daneeka: It’s the best there is.

 

 

 

I will watch Alan Arkin in anything he is in, he is great.  While this is not a speech this is still some great writing.  Here is one of my favorite scenes from this movie, if you have not seen it yet drop whatever you are doing and go watch this great movie, or better yet read the book.  

 

 

Posted in Movie Speeches

Teenagers- Speech

pumpupthevolume

From the 1990 movie Pump up the Volume, one of the great speechs in the movie by Christian Slater. (Sorry about some of the vulgar imagery and language, but I do agree with his attitude.)

Mark is an intelligent but shy teenager who has just moved to Arizona from the East Coast. His parents give him a short-wave radio so he can talk to his pals, but instead he sets up shop as pirate deejay Hard Harry, who becomes a hero to his peers while inspiring the wrath of the local high school principal. When one of Harry’s listeners commits suicide and Harry- inspired chaos breaks out at the school, the authorities are called in to put a stop to Harry’s broadcasts.

You hear about some kid who did something stupid, something
desperate. What possessed him. How could he do such a terrible thing. It’s really quite
simple actually. Consider the life of a teenager. You have parents, teachers telling you
what to do. You have movies, magazines, and TV telling you what to do. But you know
what you have to do. Your job, your purpose, is to get accepted, get a cute girl friend, and
think up something great to do with the rest of your life. What if you’re confused and
can’t imagine a career? What if you’re funny looking and you can’t get a girl friend? You
see no one wants to hear it, but the terrible secret is that being young is sometimes less
fun than being dead.

Suicide is wrong, but the interesting thing about it is how
uncomplicated it seems. There you are, you got all these problems swarming around your
brain, and here is one simple, one incredibly simple solution. I’m just surprised it doesn’t
happen every day around here. No now they’re going to say I said offing yourself is
simple, but no, no, no, no, it’s not simple. It’s like everything else you have to read the
fine print. For instance, assuming there is a heaven who would ever wanna go there, you
know. I mean think about it, sitting on this cloud, you know it’s nice, it’s quiet, there’s no
teachers, there’s no parents, but guess what? There’s nothing to do. Fucking boring.
Another thing to remember about suicide is that it is not a pretty picture. First of all, you
shit your shorts you know. So there you are dead, people are weeping over you, crying,
girls you never spoke to are saying, “Why? Why? Why?” and you have a load in your
shorts. That’s the way I see it. Sue me. Now, they’re saying I shouldn’t think stuff like
this. They’re saying something is wrong with me, that I should be ashamed. Well, I’m sick
of being ashamed. Aren’t you?

I don’t mind being dejected and rejected, but I’m not going to be ashamed about it.

At least pain is real. You look around and you see nothing is real,
but the pain is real. You know, even this show isn’t real. This isn’t me; I’m using a voice
disguiser. I’m a phoney fuck just like my Dad, just like anybody. You see, the real me is
just as worried as the rest of you. They say I’m disturbed, well of course I’m disturbed. I
mean we’re all disturbed, and if we’re not, why not? Doesn’t this blend of blindness and
blandness want to make you do something crazy? Then why not do something crazy? It
makes a hell of a lot of sense than blowing you fucking brains out you know. Go nuts, go
crazy, get creative! You got problems? You just chuck’em, nuke’em! They think you’re
moody? Make’em think you’re crazy, make’em think you might snap! They think you got
attitude? You show’em some real attitude! Come on, go nuts, get crazy. Hey no more Mr.
Nice Guy.

The Youtube Clip. The whole movie is available on Youtube.

christian-slater2

Posted in Movie Speeches

Tuba – Speech

gary cooper

Mr. Deeds Goes To Town Garry Cooper plays Longfellow Deeds who lives in a small town, leading a small town kind of life – including playing the tuba in the town band. When a relative dies and leaves Deeds a fortune, Longfellow picks up his tuba and moves to the big city where he becomes an instant target for everyone from the greedy opera committee to the sensationalist daily newspaper. Deeds outwits them all. So of course he is thought to be crazy and a hearing is held to determine his mental and emotional competency in attempt to get his money away from him.

Longfellow Deeds: About my playing the tuba. Seems like a lot of fuss has been made about that. If, if a man’s crazy just because he plays the tuba, then somebody’d better look into it, because there are a lot of tuba players running around loose. ‘Course, I don’t see any harm in it. I play mine whenever I want to concentrate. That may sound funny to some people, but everybody does something silly when they’re thinking. For instance, the judge here is, is an O-filler.
Judge May: A what?
Longfellow Deeds: An O-filler. You fill in all the spaces in the O’s with your pencil. I was watching him.
That may make you look a little crazy, Your Honor, just, just sitting around filling in O’s, but I don’t see anything wrong, ’cause that helps you think. Other people are doodlers.
Judge May: “Doodlers”?
Longfellow Deeds: Uh, that’s a word we made up back home for people who make foolish designs on paper when they’re thinking: it’s called doodling. Almost everybody’s a doodler; did you ever see a scratchpad in a telephone booth? People draw the most idiotic pictures when they’re thinking. Uh, Dr. von Hallor here could probably think up a long name for it, because he doodles all the time. Thank you. This is a piece of paper he was scribbling on. I can’t figure it out – one minute it looks like a chimpanzee, and the next minute it looks like a picture of Mr. Cedar. You look at it, Judge. Exhibit A for the defense. Looks kind of stupid, doesn’t it, Your Honor? But I guess that’s all right; if Dr. von Hallor has to, uh, doodle to help him think, that’s his business. Everybody does something different: some people are, are ear-pullers; some are nail-biters; that, uh, Mr. Semple over there is a nose-twitcher. And the lady next to him is a knuckle-cracker. So you see, everybody does silly things to help them think. Well, I play the tuba.

Youtube clip.

The Gary Cooper original was released in 1936, a remake by Adam Sandler in 2002 was simply titled Mr. Deeds.

Here is a similar pose done by Adam Sandler for his movie version. adam sandler