From the 1990 movie Pump up the Volume, one of the great speechs in the movie by Christian Slater. (Sorry about some of the vulgar imagery and language, but I do agree with his attitude.)
Mark is an intelligent but shy teenager who has just moved to Arizona from the East Coast. His parents give him a short-wave radio so he can talk to his pals, but instead he sets up shop as pirate deejay Hard Harry, who becomes a hero to his peers while inspiring the wrath of the local high school principal. When one of Harry’s listeners commits suicide and Harry- inspired chaos breaks out at the school, the authorities are called in to put a stop to Harry’s broadcasts.
You hear about some kid who did something stupid, something
desperate. What possessed him. How could he do such a terrible thing. It’s really quite
simple actually. Consider the life of a teenager. You have parents, teachers telling you
what to do. You have movies, magazines, and TV telling you what to do. But you know
what you have to do. Your job, your purpose, is to get accepted, get a cute girl friend, and
think up something great to do with the rest of your life. What if you’re confused and
can’t imagine a career? What if you’re funny looking and you can’t get a girl friend? You
see no one wants to hear it, but the terrible secret is that being young is sometimes less
fun than being dead.
Suicide is wrong, but the interesting thing about it is how
uncomplicated it seems. There you are, you got all these problems swarming around your
brain, and here is one simple, one incredibly simple solution. I’m just surprised it doesn’t
happen every day around here. No now they’re going to say I said offing yourself is
simple, but no, no, no, no, it’s not simple. It’s like everything else you have to read the
fine print. For instance, assuming there is a heaven who would ever wanna go there, you
know. I mean think about it, sitting on this cloud, you know it’s nice, it’s quiet, there’s no
teachers, there’s no parents, but guess what? There’s nothing to do. Fucking boring.
Another thing to remember about suicide is that it is not a pretty picture. First of all, you
shit your shorts you know. So there you are dead, people are weeping over you, crying,
girls you never spoke to are saying, “Why? Why? Why?” and you have a load in your
shorts. That’s the way I see it. Sue me. Now, they’re saying I shouldn’t think stuff like
this. They’re saying something is wrong with me, that I should be ashamed. Well, I’m sick
of being ashamed. Aren’t you?
I don’t mind being dejected and rejected, but I’m not going to be ashamed about it.
At least pain is real. You look around and you see nothing is real,
but the pain is real. You know, even this show isn’t real. This isn’t me; I’m using a voice
disguiser. I’m a phoney fuck just like my Dad, just like anybody. You see, the real me is
just as worried as the rest of you. They say I’m disturbed, well of course I’m disturbed. I
mean we’re all disturbed, and if we’re not, why not? Doesn’t this blend of blindness and
blandness want to make you do something crazy? Then why not do something crazy? It
makes a hell of a lot of sense than blowing you fucking brains out you know. Go nuts, go
crazy, get creative! You got problems? You just chuck’em, nuke’em! They think you’re
moody? Make’em think you’re crazy, make’em think you might snap! They think you got
attitude? You show’em some real attitude! Come on, go nuts, get crazy. Hey no more Mr.