Posted in Movie Speeches

Best Friend – Speech (Language Warning)


randall and dante

From Clerks 2by the great writer and movie maker Kevin Smith.

A calamity at Dante and Randall’s shops sends them looking for new horizons – but they ultimately settle at Mooby’s, a fictional fast-food restaurant. Free from his dead-end job (and lodged in a new one), Dante begins to break free of his rut, planning to move away with his clingy fiancé. Dante is ready to leave the horrors of minimum-wage New Jersey behind, but Randal – always the more hostile of the two – starts to become overwhelmed by his own rancor.

This is not the full speech, sorry, this is the best I can do.

Randal Graves: Why because I enjoyed what I did? I got to watch movies, fuck with assholes, and hang out with my best friend all day, can you think of a better way to make a living? Yeah maybe it wasn’t what everyone does but it was pretty fucking good.

Randal Graves: Man, you must love this fucking guy, ’cause he’s the biggest pussy I ever met, the dude who lives his life according to everyone else’s standards. “I have to go down to Florida and get married because that what’s expected of me.” And the fucking insane part is, he ain’t even crazy about the chick he’s marrying or Florida, never mind the fact that he’s got a perfectly good chick right here in Jersey who he’s nuts about, and even Anne fucking Frank could see she’s nuts about him too. And she likes you for who you are, man. She ain’t trying to stuff you into a box you’ll never fit into, not to mention that she’s carrying your hideous fucking chud of a kid.  Jesus, if you had any sense whatsoever, you’d fucking stop trying to bray it up with the rest of the sheep and live your life the way it makes sense to you, you fucking ass.

Randal Graves: [to Dante] You’re my best friend, and I love you… In a totally heterosexual way.

 

Clerks-2-jay-and-silent-bob-1747572-1024-576

I cant wait to see how the story ends with Clerks 3.

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