It was a gray day in the Magic Kingdom but did that deter the crowds?  Absolutely not.  Even with the grey clouds threatening rain, Mickey’s red still went well with his yellow buttons and Minnie’s white polka dots contrasted brilliantly with her red dress.

I made my way through the packs of tourists to meet my potential client. Some Private Investigators meet their clients at their office, sometimes restaurants (or diners), occasionally at the clients homes or their office.  For me meeting a client in the park happened on a semi-regular basis.  As far as I knew I was the only Private Investigator who commonly met clients in front of Cinderella’s castle.

I zeroed in on the single woman who was sitting on a bench, she had looked at her watch several times as I approached even though I was ten minutes early.  She was probably in her mid-forties, wearing a yellow outfit that was somewhere between casual and business casual, perfect for laid back Florida.  If she was not a native, she had been here for at least ten years if not more. “Hello are you, Miss Cannon?”

The lady looked up startled, even though she had been waiting for me. “And you are Mr. Mitchell?”

“You can call me Miles, what can I do for you?”

“I need your help; I mean my boss needs your help.”  Miss Cannon said a little flustered. “I need you to find me some colors.”

“Excuse me.”

“Very specific colors, very specific shades of red, green, blue and I think brown.” She said with a hint of confusion.

I was puzzled but I had stranger requests and sometimes cases that started vague and then moved to outright confusion, then perfect clarity, then went back to bewilderment.  But as long as the client was happy my befuddlement was immaterial.

“Perhaps we should sit so I can explain.”

“I wish you would.” I said sitting down on the bench next to her.

“Well, you see I work for Mrs. May Kowalski a lovely very kind woman.” Miss Cannon said, starting her story. Miss Cannon was a home health aide to Miss Cannon and had been with her for years.  Although Mrs. Kowalski was not crazy about Disney World she did come to the parks on a regular basis.  She had even bought an Annual Pass for Miss Cannon so she could help her around the parks.  But over the past year things had changed, Mrs. Kowalski had a stroke and with that health scare came a newfound interest from her relatives in Mrs. Kowalski, or to be precise Mrs. Kowalski’s fortune.  The family had been  circling like vultures for years but they had recently started making noises about putting her in a home and a conservatorship.  Normally the old lady was able to fend off the parasites but the stroke might have affected her more than she was letting on, because Mrs. Kowalski was making some strange requests.

“Does this have to do with me finding colors?”

“Sort of.”  Miss Cannon answered.

Miss Cannon continued.  About a month ago Mrs. Kowalski bought a new house, which was really strange because the house she was living in is her dream home.  It was the house she had lived in with her husband for forty years, the home where she had raised their daughter Josephina, the home where they had a wake for Josephina when she gave her life in service her country.  Her home meant more to her than any other place in the world, but now she has this new home and was sinking large sums of money into the house.

And not just any home, a really, really big home, on a lake with a dock and everything. That was another  strange thing, Miss Kowalski did not even like boats.  That large expenditure had her niece and nephew throwing fits.  It was a huge chunk of what they considered to be ‘their inheritance’.   Mrs. Kowalski had so far been able to fend off the bloodsuckers, as Mrs. Kowalski called them, but one month ago her friend who was also her lawyer passed away.  He had been her ally and had been the boots on the ground in buying the new house and having it renovated. He had overseen the remodeling that Mrs. Kowalski had been paying for.  But with his passing the project was turned over to a younger, a Mr. Clinton attorney who is very inexperienced and the final details of the house, like the trim and painting of the house has slowed to a crawl, the vultures, Mrs. Kowalski’s description of her nieces and nephews have learned of all the remodeling and are now making noises about having her declared mentally incompetent.

“And she’s not.” I said in agreement.  I paused as I saw the expression on Ms. Cannon’s face.  “Or do you have concerns?”

Miss Cannon took a deep breath.  “That is just the thing Mr. Mitchell, I am not so sure anymore. She bought this house it seems sight unseen.”

“How do you know that?”  I asked.

“I am her live in care giver, even on my days off she allows me to take her only vehicle to run personal errands so she cannot leave the house without me.”

I had to admit that was pretty good evidence that she had never been to the house she had bought. “Remember call me Miles.”  I said. “And what do you think I can do to help?”

“Well, I need an outsider’s opinion about Mrs. Kowalski, and I also need help with a part of the remodel that she has taken on personally.”

I looked at her quizzically.  “I really do not know nothing about remodeling except to only pay your contractor half up front and get everything in writing.”

“Oh no, Mrs. Kowalski wants to have me help her scout out color schemes in the park and you being an expert on the parks and resorts I suggested you help us out.”

“So, she does not know about your worries about her mental capacity?”

“Well not exactly, although she jokes about it all the time, but I worry.”  She paused. “The stroke took her ability to walk around for long periods of time unaided but I believe she is still sharp as a tack, but others do not understand that because of her speech problems.”

“So, she knows I am a private investigator.”  I stated.

“Yes, she got your name from some friends, the La Fleur’s.”  The health aide answered.

“Oh yeah nice people.”  I said smiling, remembering the brain surgeon and his wife.

The next day I met my client in the lobby of the Contemporary.  After introductions Mrs. Kowalski directed us over to the convention center and since there was no activity there the place was very quiet, which we needed. Ms. Kowalski handled her very expensive powered wheelchair adroitly with her right hand, I checked out the design and saw there was an ability to switch sides depending on which side was affected by an impairment, which was good because her left had been affected by the stroke.

Did I mention it was quiet, which was a good thing, because it took me an hour to fully understand Ms. Kowalski without Ms. Cannon interpreting.  Now I am pretty good at perceiving people’s speech. A skill improved by growing up in Florida, with native speakers of Spanish, Creole and Portuguese.  Now my Spanish is good enough to get by and I can recognize a few words of Creole and Portuguese.  It took me just an hour of sitting and listening to Ms. Kowalski explain what she wanted in her impaired speech, but I think I had a good grasp on the nuances of her speech.

Ms. Kowalski had a twinkle in her eye and even with her verbal issues she occasionally made a joke about the situation.  I found her delightful.

Ms. Kowalski explained what she wanted from me clearly and succinctly. It was a relatively easy request that I had prepared for by bringing my camera,  I looked like a real tourist today, big camera, Hawaiian shirt and Tigers ball cap.   We started off along the walkway to the Magic Kingdom, we had not gone more than fifty yards when we were encircled by the committee of vultures.   This particular committee had mostly pastel plumage, while the young vultures were decked out in opposing colors. The younger child had the best princess on her light blue shirt, Cinderella  along with matching shorts and  Cindy themed ears. The teenaged vulture was wearing going for the black on black inscrutable goth.  Black on black, long pants, long sleeve baggy sweatshirt, long shaggy black locks making the face almost an impression of Cousin It, therefore making the teen an indeterminate sex.  I liked this teen immediately. Rebellion is good for the soul.  Also, because Ms. Kowalski energy level went up when greeting the teen, like she was happy to see her/he/it, and I trusted the ladies judgement.

“Aunt May funny meeting you here.”  The pastel clad woman who looked like she was on a day pass from a plastic surgery addiction facility.

“Aunt May it is so good to see you.”  The pastel clad man said with not as much saccharin as his wife, but it would still give a diabetic pause.

I am not going to relate to you the way May Kowalski sounded, because her intent was clear and after spending an hour with her, I was able to understand her fairly well.  But she was both terse and flat when answering these relations. “Morning Ed,” and nodded to the wife “Eunice.”

Ed and Eunice prompted with a slight physical nudge. “Hi Aunty May.”  The little one said. “Can we go on Small World, and can I sit with you?” In a totally unrehearsed, never a second of practice and undirected manner.  The teenager simply looked up at Aunt May. “Hey Aunt May.”

“Hey yourself Chris.”  May Kowalski said with a slight nod and a smile, then looking at the young one. “Maybe.”

“Well lets go to the Happiest Place on Earth.”  And Eunice said as if she was leading out group now.

“That is Disneyland.”  May Kowalski said succinctly and slightly annoyed.  “Do you know my friends?”  May said without moving.

“Of course, we know you professional helper Ms. Cannon.”  Ed said nodding acknowledging someone beneath him.

“And who is this gentleman?”  Eunice said with a bit of suspicion.

I jumped in before Ms. Cannon could answer.  “Oh, I am her nephew Miles, down here visiting my aunt Dorthy, and she invited me along for the day.”  Obviously, I did not merit a handshake from Ed as I was now just classified as ‘the help’.  Ms. Cannon had a moment of confusion but played along with the charade, while Ms. Kowalski caught on immediately and simply nodded.

So, we re-started out walking towards the Magic Kingdom, Eunice and Ed flanking Ms. Kowalski and the children taking rearguard behind the wheelchair.  Although goth teen was very engrossed in the ubiquitous cell phone and the ear buds blocked out most background distractions, I am sure.

Passing through the optical turnstiles I saw Ed watching as I came through, and him being a bit confused by my magic band use.  He pulled me aside with a question.  “I thought you said you were just down here for the day?”

“Oh, I am, but I have an annual pass, I am a big Disney fan.”

He snorted dismissively at my statement.

The Ed and Eunice party immediately wanted to make a clear path for the rides, but Ms. Kowalski had her own agenda and was sticking to it, no matter what her uninvited family wanted.

Ms. Kowalski pointed out certain things she wanted pictures of on Main Street.  Mainly contrasting color schemes and trim around doorways and porch awnings.  She also directed me to get pictures of both sides of the street in the late morning light to see the contrast of the gold leaf on the windows where the Disney Legends are paid homage too.

Getting a window on Main Street U.S.A. is a great honor in the Disney Company and you had to be pretty special to have one there.  Three requirements to have your name on a window on Main Street USA:  1).Only on retirement; 2) only for the highest level of service and 3) a mutual agreement between park management and Walt Disney Imagineering.

Ed and Eunice were forcing themselves to be patient throughout the rich aunts directions to me, but by the time we got all the way down to Casey’s corner, which took forty-five minutes according to my watch Ed was seething.

“Really Miles, is this what you came to the park for?”  He said out of the earshot of his Aunt.

I looked at him between adjustments to my camera.

Learn your camera kids, it can do a lot beyond the automatic setting, and with digital cameras you do not have to worry about what type of film you are using.  The great thing about the digital age is that you can take an almost unlimited number of pictures and decide later what is good.

But I looked at Ed.  “Hey, I enjoy taking in the nuances of the place, it is infinitely fascinating.  Besides I am doing a favor for your aunt.”

Ed had distracted me with his question and Eunice had gotten next to May Kowalski. “May, can we move on Chelsa really wants to ride some rides.”

May replied in her limited manner. “No one is stopping you.” And she waved her hand towards the castle.

Ed had left my side and was on the other side of his Aunt now.  “Oh no May, we would never think of leaving you alone in the park.”

May shook her head and angrily pointed to me and Ms. Cannon. “What are they chopped liver?”

Ms. Cannon had been quiet this whole time, mostly out of politeness and I suspect a wisdom to not interfere in family relations. But I heard her snort instead of a laugh at her boss’s statement.

Eunice picked up the challenge.  “Well, we are family, they are just helpers not blood.”

May looked at the two of them angrily and let her actions voice her frustration shooting off in her wheelchair. Ms. Cannon and I followed with our employer leading the way towards Liberty Square.

Now Liberty Square is not the most popular area of the parks, it only has one major attraction, that being the Haunted Mansion which is one of my favorites.  Liberty Square’s biggest benefits it has a lot of places to sit and relax.  I do not know if it was Ms. Kowalski’s plan or if she was giving in to her family, particularly the small child, but she got in line for the Haunted Mansion.  She did not direct me to take any pictures so I simply organized the photos in my camera, luckily the wait time was less than an hour and I was not called upon to engage in much conversation, but I kept my ears open.

Things I overheard did not paint a picture of bliss in the pastel home of Ed and Eunice.  ‘How does she look?’ ‘Same as always.’ ‘I think she is handling the chair a little better, does that mean she is getting stronger.’ ‘What do I look like a doctor?’ A pause. ‘If you looked like a doctor, we would not be dodging bill collectors.’ ‘What is that supposed to mean.’ ‘Never mind.’

Not sure how it happened, but somehow got in the Doom Buggy with the goth teen Chris.  I simply nodded to the teen.  I think he or she nodded back, hard to tell with the homeless modish look.  We had just left the attic and were on the slope heading down to the cemetery when the ride stopped.  Not a abnormal experience, sometimes it was a mechanical problem, occasionally they had to stop the ride to assist a guest onto the ride.  Ms. Kowalski had been spry enough to mount the Doom Buggy, the motorized chair she rode was just to expedite her speed around the park.

It was then I heard the two longest sentences from the kid. “You are Miles Mitchell the Private Investigator.”

I looked at the kid.  “You got me kid.”

The kid was smart.  “Don’t worry, whatever work you are doing for Aunt May I am not going to tell my parents who you are.”

I could not read the kids face if it existed, with the long black hair hanging down the presence of eyes was in question while the nose and mouth were simply a suggestion.  But I knew I liked this kid. I did not get a chance to say anything as the ride started up again.

We all got off the ride and Ms. Kowalski mounted her silver steed.  It was then she announced that she had reservations at Liberty Tree Tavern. Ed and Eunice said nothing as turkey dinners danced in their head on Aunt May’s dime.  Except when we got there Aunt May stated her name and the Cast Member looked up from her tablet a bit confused.

“The reservation is for only three people.”

Ms. Kowalski turned towards the pastel-colored couple. “Where are you eating?”

Eunice attempted to bully the Cast Member, but Ms. Kowalski ended the conversation by simply going into the restaurant with Ms. Cannon and I following leaving Eunice and all behind.  I was hiding a bit of smirk.

We had a delightful meal of turkey, mashed potatoes and all the fixings.  I showed Ms. Kowalski some of the photos I took and she nodded appreciatively.  It was a long slow meal by park standards.  Most people rush through meals to get back to rides and shows, but since we were locals, we took our time.

When we did get back out into the afternoon sun, we had another surprise waiting for us.

Across the way, leaning against the stone wall was the Pastel family, with Chris the goth child, but we had a new committee of vultures who added more color the rainbow, The Flannels.

I am not sure if you have heard of Florida Man, but this was Florida Man and his family white trash version.  Even though the temperature was somewhere in the 90’s with a humidity level between suffocating in a wet warm quilt and being underwater in a kiddie pool.  This family was wearing all blue jeans, black t-shirts and unbuttoned flannel shirts.  Dad was wearing a “Shiltz the beer that made Milwaukee famous” t-shirt with the mandatory wallet on a chain,  I actually think it’s a state law in Minnesota that if you wear a Shiltz T-shirt your wallet must be on a chain.  Mother was a bit classier; she had a nice clean black shirt that proudly pronounced, Hot MILF, in red sparking letters, very tight, showing up the fact her brassiere was thinner than her t-shirt and both were trying their best to do their assigned tasks but it was a losing battle with her impressive assets. Luckily, she had an equally impressive stomach that would not let things go too far.  And then there was Junior.  Junior had a shirt that proclaimed he would rather be in Beaver Valley, with a rather suggestive drawing that could be taken as a view of female anatomy from a certain perspective.  I thought it was not a good look for a twelve-year-old, but then again, I do not have kids so who am I to say.

“Oh shit.”  Mrs. Kowalski said plainly and clearly with no need for me to interpret her language.

I later was briefed on all the players by Ms. Canon, this was Lonny, his wife Didi, and Lonny Jr.  Eunice and Lonny were brother and sister but obviously with very different fashion senses.  Lonny, despite how he dressed was very well off finically, he had somehow gotten on the bottom ground of construction business as a short haul delivery of both construction materials and earth moving equipment.  So, if it was being built in central Florida Lonny might have had a small piece of the job.

Why Lonny was worried about Mrs. Kowalski’s fortune and how she spent it was beyond my personal understanding.  Maybe it was as simple as the Samuel Gompers quote, when asked what Labor wanted from their strike he simply stated ‘More’.

They saw us come out the front door of Liberty Tree Tavern and swarmed across the street almost colliding with others in their attempts to reach Mrs. Kowalski first.  The old dame greeted the newcomers politely and when Lonny Jr. attempted to ingratiate himself with his Aunt with a hug the old lady deftly and precisely turned her wheelchair so that the attempted hug got her back.

“Well, what are the plans for the day?” Didi stated loudly.

Before Mrs. Kowalski could answer Eunice spoke up. “Well Aunt May promised Chelsea she would ride a Small World with her.”

Mrs. Kowalski heard this and shook her head; I knew she had not agreed to any such thing.  Sure, it had been asked but the only response given was ‘maybe’.   Mrs. Kowalski shrugged and started off towards Fantasy Land with the party of nine trailing behind her.  I heard Lonny ask Ed who I was, and Ed said dismissively that I was the nurse’s nephew.   Lonny gave me a once over and shrugged.  Along the way Mrs. Kowalski stopped the little parade and had me take some photos just inside Columbia 
Harbor House, mostly of the color scheme, the contrasting colors of the trim and the walls.  Most everyone stayed outside but Didi and Eunice where right on either side of their Aunt May’s side, I could see Didi getting antsy, I spotted the signs of nicotine withdrawal and I would bet dollars to donuts I would see her taking a covert pull on a vape device before long.

Vaping and smoking is prohibited in all Disney parks, a healthy decision, sending the guests out past the Security checkpoint to get the hit of the drug.  Smokers abide by this rule to a higher percentage than Vapers.  Vapers are always taking covert hits; I saw one Security Host watch a Vaper covertly. After the Vaper took a long hit, the Security Host made her presence known and the Vaper had to simply hold it in. It was one of the funniest things I have ever seen in the parks.

But after our stop at the seafood place, we made it up to A Small World.  Small World is a very polarizing ride, hate and love is the typical reaction.  Me, I had become immune to its earworm song, one summer I challenged my buddy Daniel, I said I would ride it every day we were in the park, if at the end of the summer he would attempt to ride the ride equal to the number of times in a row in one day.  I rode it thirty times that summer.  How did I do it?  Crossword puzzles, I would keep a cheap book of crossword puzzles in my back pocket and work on it while in line, then on the ride looking up only occasionally to see where the boat was.  I basically made the song into background music and not my focus.  Daniel had no such coping mechanism on his day he tried to ride the ride thirty times.  He only made it twenty times before he gave up, I got ten lunches out of the bet.  One meal for every ride he was not able to complete.  Although he considered popcorn and a coke for lunch once because it was technically lunch time.

We got onto the ride and I saw Lonny Junior practically throw a fit because he did not want to ride a ‘baby ride’ but Lonny Sr. gave him a stern look and the child calmed down.  So, the ten of us got our own teal colored boat.  May got Chelsea on one side and the nicotine jonesing Didi on the other side with a hovering Eunice in the seat directly behind them. I sat in the back of the boat in the last row while Ms. Cannon sat behind her employer and friend with Eunice. Ed and Lonny Sr. occupied the next row, Lonny Jr. had a row to himself with Goth Teen in the final row before my seat.

The ride was uneventful except for Lonny Jr. standing several times and reaching his hand over the side slashing in the water.  It was so bad that at one point the Cast Members had to speak on the internal PA system telling him to sit down and keep his hands and feet inside the boat at all times.  Personally, I would have enjoyed seeing the little terror fall in, but it was not in the cards.

We departed the ride with glares from the Cast Members, I alone noticed them as the family was too busy fake helping May back into her silver wheelchair.  After making our way back up the ramp May Kowalski took off with no discussion towards the castle and the family was strung out behind her.  I knew where she was going, which made it easy for me and Ms. Cannon to follow her to Cinderella Carousel.

We got in the long line, which was fine, I stood by Mrs. Kowalski and she pointed out horses she wanted pictures of and I obliged her as best I could.  It was a difficult task, taking pictures of the moving horses because not only did the go around in circles, but thanks to Walt’s personal directive all horses had to also move up and down.  I got the best pictures when the Carousel stopped to unload one group and load another.   Due to my concentrating on the viewfinder in my camera I missed the bit of drama that was developing behind me, but Ms. Cannon described it to me later on.

Somehow Goth and Jr. ended up standing next to each other at the end of the group.  Goth seemed to passively ignore the little redneck very successfully for a bit. That is until he said something and then Goth Teen made a fist with those five fingers with the black nail polish and one silver colored skull ring and punched Junior squarely in the nose.  All hell broke loose for the next few minutes as people backed away from the falling Junior who immediately started to leak that nice bright red blood from one of his nostrils.  I hustled the group out of line with Ms. Cannon’s help, luckily health care workers are used to staying calm when everything is going wrong around them.  I had the ever-calm Mrs. Kowalski take the Pastels away in one direction and me and Ms. Cannon take the Flannels in the other direction.  I hoped to avoid any interaction with Disney Security as they took a very dim view on assault in the park.  Junior’s nose had stopped bleeding which was a good indication that it was not broken.  Ms. Cannon with Didi hovering nearby did a quick examine of the boy and declared that he should be fine and encouraged Didi and his mother to head off to the family restroom and clean his face.  Once the ‘victim’ was gone Lonny looked at Ms. Cannon and was about to demand to know what had happened. Unfortunately, Disney Security had arrived on scene and double bad luck it was someone I knew and they knew me.  Mario, tall, dark haired and always serious.

“Miles.”  Mario said. “What is happening here?”

I held my hands out in a motion of surrendering. “A little squabble between cousins, it is fine now.”

Mario looked at me with questioning eyes.  He looked at Lonny Sr. who shrugged but nodded and added. “Just stupid kids, we got it handled.”

Mario looked at Ms. Cannon now, who also shrugged.  Mario reached for his microphone and spoke. “Family squabble between minors.”  There was a pause as Mario looked over me. “Ten four, I am back Ten-Eight.”  Mario looked at me quizzically then shook his head as he walked away.

Lonny Sr. looked at me after Mario left.  “Why did that Security Guard know your name, he acted like he knew you.”

I tried to distract him.  “What did Junior say to Chris?”

Lonny Sr. answered. “Probably some joke about his hair, they should probably send that kid to military school you will never seen Junior looking that bizarre Chris has always been a bit of werido.”

“Have they ever fought before?”  I asked.

Lonny was now looking towards the restroom area and saw that his wife and son were coming back.  “Ah no, nothing like that.”

I shrugged.  It really was not any concern of mine.  It really was not part of the job.  I was not here to keep minors from fighting.  But I had kept Disney Security out of it because I did not think Mrs. Kowalski would like her name in any report, I mean who would?  But I was curious what had been said that made Chris slug Lonny Junior.  My dual nature, incredible sometime insatiable curiosity, and an overwhelming need to mind my own business, a continuing balancing act in my life.

The Flannel family stomped off in the direction of the Pastels and rich Aunt May, but when we got to the far side of carousel they were munching on pretzels and churros.

Lonny Sr. went right up to the teenager.  “What is your problem?”

“Oh no.”  I heard Ms. Cannon say.

I was just about to intervene when Mrs. Kowalski rolled right into Lonny Sr. and waved her finger and in the loudest tone possible and with great force she simply said. “Stop.”

Everyone in the family froze.  Everyone was so emotionally attached to the woman’s opinion about them it caused them shock. The old woman spoke again.  “Chris apologize.”

Chris looked up and actually moved the hair to the side and looked at Lonny Junior who had taken a flanking position next to his father.  “I am sorry I hit you.”

Lonny Junior looked at his father.  His father looked at him and nodded, then Lonny Jr. spoke. “No big deal.”

I think Didi was about to start something when Lonny Senior looked at her and shook his head.

Mrs. Kowalski spoke up, keeping her speech short.  “Good. Let us go on the Carousel of Progress.”  And she was off like a shot, with her relatives struggling to stay alongside her.  I laughed at the old dame; she was not going to let a little blood mess with her plan.  I was not sure what her plan was, but I had no doubt in my mind that she had one.  At one point she signaled for me to come close.

“Get a wheelchair from the front of the park, meet us at the Carousel.”

I did not say anything, I simply nodded and took the turn at Cosmic Ray’s and beat feet down Main Street.  Luckily there was not a long line and I plunked down my credit card for the sawbuck and hoped I could return this and the c-note as a deposit would not be charged against my card, because it would melt the card.  I got back to Tomorrowland cutting through the Tomorrowland Terrace and by the purple wall in a flash.

I do not know how she did it, but standing outside The Carousel was Mrs. Kowalski and Ms. Cannon.  I looked at them quizzically but Ms. Cannon motioned for me quickly and I wheeled the chair to the patiently straining Mrs. Kowalski.  Then she simply said.  “Quickly off to Tom Sawyer’s Island.”  The next few minutes where us three moving quickly and efficiently through the crowds, just passing through the Hub before a stage show began.

Passing through Liberty Square I passed the ever-serious Security Host Mario who looked at me quizzically as I now pushed a different wheelchair with Mrs. Kowalski in it and  Ms. Cannon bringing up the rear.   I nodded to him and he nodded back but I could feel his eyes upon us as we made it to the brown wooden walkway along the Rivers of America.

We did not have to wait for a raft to Tom Sawyer’s Island as we got there as one unloaded and I was able to catch my breath with the final push.  The raft docked a few minutes later on Tom Sawyers Island and we made our way onto the island of tranquility among the rush of rides and crowds.

I had a soft spot for the island of peace.  I had spent many hours going through its caves and Fort Langhorn.  I thought it was a shame when Aunt Polly’s Inn closed and now all that is there is a vending machine, but Ms. Kowalski was paying so I had a coke and we sat in the shade watching the riverboat go by and the crowds in Liberty Square hurrying to a fro.

After a while Ms. Kowalski spoke slowly.  “How did they know where I was?”

“Who?”  I asked just finishing my coke.

“The vultures.”

“You did not tell them your plans?”  I asked.

“No.”  Came the empathic reply.  Ms. Kowalski turned to look at Ms. Cannon.

“Not me, those people think I am just the hired help.”  Ms. Cannon said.

I believed her to, as she was the one that was worried the most about Ms. Kowalski.

I sat back and thought.  “Why did you leave your wheelchair back at the Carousel?”

“They would think I was still around.” The older lady said, pleased with herself.

“It also will tell us if they are tracking your chair or something on your person.

They both looked at me, so I explained.  “There are these called “air tags”  basically tracking chips, you might have one on your wheelchair, or in your car, maybe even your purse.”

“How big are they” Ms. Cannon asked.

I pulled out my key chain and showed them mine.  I hated losing things, and you never know as a Private Investigator if you might need to track someone on the spur of the moment.  I had once thrown one into the bed of a pickup truck, unfortunately the guy picked up a load of sand burying the  tag and I never got it back.  For the next six months I knew where that guy laid the foundation for his deck.

On the good note I was able to get a great picture of him shoveling the sand into a cement mixer and building a concrete wall, so much for his bad back lawsuit.

There was an exchange of looks between the two woman and Mrs. Kowalski handed over her purse and the younger lady started to go through it.  I was glad she didn’t task me with doing it, that is where I draw the line, going through a ladies purse never leads to good things for a man.

We sat there still enjoying the world going by as Ms. Cannon conducted the search.  After fifteen minutes Mrs. Cannon decided that there was no suspicious, mysterious, or unidentified items in the cavernous Kate Spade Minnie Mouse purse.  I may know not to go into a woman’s purse, but I am the son of a fashionista.

After the search was concluded we sat for another fifteen minutes when I saw my serious friend Mario, from Disney Security standing on the off-load ramp from the riverboat looking directly at the trio sitting on the porch.  I waved.  He waved back in a grumpy manner.  The river boat had just went around the bend and there was nothing to interrupt our conversation across the fifty feet of calm water.

“Miles is that Mrs. Kowalski with you?”

I paused for just a second, my mind working out the problem.  ‘How did he know her name.’  ‘Obviously her family had contacted Disney Security’.  “Yes, it is, we are enjoying the breeze.”

Mario did not pause. “Mrs. Kowalski your family is worried about you.”

Mrs. Kowalski gave a snort of a laugh. She took a deep breath and yelled across the water, a one-word response. “So.”

“Can I come over there and talk to you?”  Mario asked, using his best Disney tone.

Mrs. Kowalski took another breath and gave a one-word answer with all her power. “Yes.”

I sat back down on the rocking chair, next to my client.

“Fun time is over.”  Mrs. Kowalski said smiling and patting me on the knee.  “Thank you, Miles.”

The day wound down in the most wonderful way, Mrs. Kowalski explained to the Disney Security Host that she had ditched her family and her powered wheelchair.  Being the very though and conscientious Disney Security they had to confirm everything and we accompanied Mario the Security Host back across the River of America where we met the Pastel Family.  Mrs. Kowalski basically told them she had intentionally ditched them because they were interfering with her plans for the day.  The Pastel vultures walked off in a huff,  right after Mrs. Kowalski said, “Good day”.  Everyone seemed unhappy except Chris, who had given Mrs. Kowalski back her powered wheelchair.   The goth teen had a big goofy grin on his or her face as his great aunt said “Good day” to Eunice and Eddy.

The three of us departed the park after Mrs. Kowalski directed me to take a few more pictures in Frontierland.  Just as we were leaving the park we ran into the Flannel Clan.  Lonny Sr. shouted when he saw us and Mrs. Kowalski simply rolled her eyes and kept rolling right out the exit.  Then Lonny Sr. started chasing us, cutting through the entrance touch points instead of the clearly marked exit lane.  This gained the attention of two Orange County Sheriffs who just happened to be walking by at the time.  Lonny caught up with us as we were passing the bathrooms.

“You kidnapped my aunt.”  He said, grabbing my shirt.

I was expecting this and I had seen the Deputies that Lonny had not and I simply stood still not pulling away.

This is harder than it seems.  Most people react when grabbed by stranger, especially when they are yelling a lie in your direction, but luckily my brain was working in lightning quick mode today so I stood still. It must have been the Wheaties I had that morning and all my good clean leaving.

“Where are you going with my aunt?”

“Lonny let go.”  Mrs. Kowalski said turning her chair around quickly.

“Is there a problem here?”  Came the unmistakable voice of authority from the younger of the two deputies.

I simply shook my head.

Lonny turned around shocked at the voice.  I could see the wheels turning in his head and he decided to double down on his course of action.  “Yes, this guy kidnapped my Aunt.”

The deputies gave an appraising look at the situation. “Well first let go of the gentleman’s shirt.”

Lonny Sr. did so immediately.  But then he continued with his course of action.  “Put him in handcuffs then.”

The older deputy held up his hand telling Lonny to stop talking and surprisingly Lonny had the sense to shut up. Then he looked at Ms. Cannon and Mrs. Kowalski.  “Have you ladies been ‘kidnapped’?  You could hear the quotation marks in his question.

Mrs. Kowalski spoke up.  “Obviously not.”  Ms. Cannon simply shook her head.

The older deputy nodded. “Good enough for me.”  The deputy turned to me.  “Are you okay sir, do you need any assistance?”

I could tell he was asking me if I wanted to press charges for the ‘assault’ when Lonny grabbed me, but he did not want to use any triggering words, like ‘arrest’,  that would excite anyone.

“No, I am good.”  I said theatrically straightening my shirt.

The younger deputy put away his notebook which he had taken out sometime and then they turned towards Lonny who had smartly taken a step back and remained quiet showing he was not as dumb as he looked.

“Lonny”  The voice of Mrs. Kowalski came out strong.  Everyone turned towards the lady.  “Going home now. Good day.”  She said in a clearly distinctive tone.”

“Bye Aunt May.”  Lonny said looking chastised with the ‘Good day’.  I felt there was something in the wording, some family history, some story, something deeper than just a farewell.  But as a Private Investigator it was not my business to ask although my curiosity was piqued.

I accompanied the two ladies to their vehicle and assisted them in loading the powered wheelchair into the minivan.  Surprisingly I had parked my station wagon two cars down from theirs.  Mrs. Kowalski gave a critical look at my vehicle and I simply shrugged “It gets me from here to there”. While helping them load it up, I did a quick search of the wheelchair and discovered an Apple Air Tag in the charging cable pouch on the back of the chair.

Mrs. Kowalski was very thankful for my efforts and invited me to her home the next week to go over the photographs she directed me to take.

I never did get to go over the photographs with Mrs. Kowalski as she had another massive stroke two days later and died three days later with Ms. Cannon at her side in the hospital.  Per her living will Ms. Cannon did not notify her family until after she passed.  Also, per her living will, her lawyer posted a guard on the home, not allowing anyone but Ms. Cannon to enter or depart with anything.  It spoke to the foresight of Mrs. Kowalski, the amount of trust she had with her nurse and her distrust of her relatives.

I did not think anymore about the matter, well I did once when Mrs. Cannon sent me a check for my services, but I thought my professional interest in the matter was over when I got a call from a lawyer.

“Mitchell Investigations.”  I answered my phone when I saw the caller ID was a law firm.

“Miles Mitchell please.”  The voice came.

“Speaking.”  I replied back.

There was a surprised pause, then the young man’s voice continued.  “Your presence is requested at the reading of the last will and testament of Mrs. May Kowalski at the Contemporary Hotel, in the Pastoral Room 1, at ten a.m. tomorrow, are you able to attend.”

Now it was my time to be surprised. “Yes.”

“Do you need directions sir?”

“No, I am pretty sure I know where it is.”

“Very good sir, tomorrow at ten a.m.”  Then the call ended.

“Huh.”  I said to my empty office.

I arrived at the Contemporary the next day at nine-thirty.  While I had a good idea where Pastoral One room was it was not a place, I had ever been in.  There was some other conventions and meetings going on so the helpful front desk gave me directions to the meeting room.  I walked west and noticed several other people in the rotunda.  Three groups of people.  The Pastels, the Flannels and a small group of three, one of which I knew, the other two I did not.  Since they were the friendliest looking group so I joined them.

“Miles I am so glad you came.”  Mrs. Cannon said, extending a hand.

“I am sorry for your loss.”  I said. “I did not know her long but she seemed like a heck of a woman.”

“You are very preceptive Mr. Mitchell.” The one of stranger in the group said.

The obvious lawyer spoke up now. “Mr. Mitchell, I am Clive Clinton representing my Mrs. May Kowalski’s final wishes and this is Judge Candace Carrera.”

“Now Clinton you know I am retired.”  The older lady said with a bit of chiding.

“Your honor, it is nice to meet you.”  I said, knowing better than to try and be informal with any judge even if she was not on the bench.

“Nice to meet you Mr. Mitchell.  You were the last to arrive early.”  The judge stated. “These folks were here when we arrived at nine a.m.”

“Well since everyone is here why don’t we start a little early.”  Clive Clinton Esquire said.

Ms. Cannon and the Judge nodded.

“Everyone appears to be here, if no one objects, we can start a little early, if everyone would make their way into the meeting room.”  Clive said in a voice loud enough that it echoed slightly in the rotunda.

The group shuffled into the first room down the hall. There was a large screen at one end, with a table and two chairs in front of it.  There were three groups of chairs, Clive motioned for me and Ms. Cannon to sit the group with two chairs.  The Pastels assumed the chairs with four chairs and the Flannels in the group with three chairs.

The Pastels were dressed like for church, but all in black with the exception of Ed’s stark white shirt, except the littlest one who was in a gray dress more celebratory then somber but she was just a kid.  Goth Chris’s clothes were a combination of dress slacks and oversized black jacket, with sleeves being way too long coming down to fingertips, still hiding his or her gender, just vague skinny teen.

The Flannel’s had dressed for the occasion.  Lonny Jr. was wearing black jeans and a black sweatshirt with the simple AC/DC logo on the chest.  His hair looked like he was wearing some sort of gel that was there before it dried, leaving it still looking wet.  Didi was wearing a black dress that surprisingly was appropriate for the circumstances.  Lonnie Sr. was wearing black dress slacks, and a black shiny button-up shirt, in a jacket that would never be buttoned closed unless he was doing a version of Chris Farley’s ‘fat guy in a little coat’ routine.

It only took a few moments for the room to grow quiet and look towards the lawyer who had picked up a stack of papers and was looking at them, he tapped them into organization of the table in front of him.  “Before we begin, I need to introduce the honorable Judge Candace Carrera recently retired from the Florida Nineth Circuit Court and a friend of Mrs. May Kowalski.”

“May was a very dear and very close lifelong friend.”  The judge said looking slowly at both families, as if emphasis the point that she knew the situation fully.  “And I am here to function as a witness to ensure everything goes according to her wishes.”

Both sets of parents shifted in their seats uncomfortably, while Lonny and Chelsea seemed bored. Chris on the other hand seemed very sad about the whole thing but still interested in what was going on.

“Well, the will is written down in very clear terms and a copy will be provided to each party at the conclusion of the reading.  But instead of a formal reading, Mrs. Kowalski created a video recording of the main points of her requests.  Any questions.”  Clive said not really expecting any.  He reached into his pocket and produced a remote control and he activated the screen.  “Oh and Mrs. Kowalski created this will about a year ago, so approximately two months before her stroke.

“Greetings to people in my life I feel need to be hear or at least feel as though they should be here.”  The very clear and concise voice of Mrs. May Kowalski came out. “This would include my niece Eunice and her husband Ed.”  The amount of sour notes that came out when she said ‘ed’ made my face pucker. “My great nieces, Chris and Chelsea.” There was a pause, then turning to the proper side of the room, Mrs. Kowalski said. “Hey Chris.”

Chris smiled. “Hey there yourself Aunt May.”

The mystery was solved, Chris was probably short for Christiana or Christine.  I nodded; it made me smile even more thinking of Chris punching young Jr. in the nose.  But it brought up the mystery again of why the young Chris felt the need to resort to violence.

The video Mrs. Kowalski continued. “And of course Eunice’s brother Lonnie whose real name is Lawrence.  Lonnie and Didi, a perfect pair.  A pair of what I have no idea but a perfectly matched pair creating the little monster in Junior.”

At this Junior looked up from the video game on his phone and gave a confused look.

“Basically, I am going to split my estate three ways.  The house will get picked through by you scavengers first, with the order of choice being Chris, Chelsea, and Lonnie Jr.”  This last bit was said with some disgust. “Then Eunice and Lawerence.  Then its contents auctioned off along with the home itself with the proceeds going to Eunice and Lonnie.”

There was some murmuring between the two married couples but nothing that I could make out.

“All my assets, stocks, bonds, funds will liquidated and placed in a trust.”

More whispering between the adults.

“This trust will be managed by the law firm with the intent to pay for the full education of my great nieces and nephew.  Any recognized school expenses, tuition for  college, apprenticeships, vocational, technical and any associated costs, such as room, board, books, tools, and other miscellaneous costs managed by the law firm.”

“Chris,” Mrs. Kowalski had turned towards that side of the room again. “if this includes flight school like we have talked about it will also play for a single engine airplane upon you receiving your license.”  Mrs. Kowalski turned back to the center of the room and as an afterthought  added.   “Also, any type of equivalency for Chelsea and Lonnie Jr. once they have completed whatever training or learning experience undertaken.”

“This has a limit of being attempted by their thirtieth birthday and completed within the normal prescribed and customary time frame. After that all money left over will be put back into Josephina’s  Memorial Scholarship fund.”  There was a sad pause. “I think I will see you soon baby, I just have to finish a few things down here.” There was another pause as the senior lady took a deep breath to steady herself.

“The last part of my worldly possessions I leave to my dear friend Ms. Janice Cannon, whose dedication went far beyond an employee, she is positive, she is funny and charming once she comes out of her shell and loving beyond measure.”  May turned in the direction where she dictated the lawyer to sit her, she smiled towards her friend. “You spoke often of your older brother and sister and now I am giving you a house to live in and take care of them in.”

“What?” The voice of Lonnie came out in a loud surprise. “Her second house goes to the nurse?”

Mrs. Kowalski had obviously anticipated this as she stopped talking and was facing towards where Lonnie was sitting. “Yes, Lonnie and Eunice, your children are taken care of and you get to split the proceeds of the sale of my home.  So, sit down and if you think you are going to contest the will you will get nothing personally.”

Lonnie looked around at everyone else and began muttering while Didi simply stared daggers at the screen.

May turned back to the side of the room where Ms. Cannon was sitting.  The taxes and all upkeep will be managed by the law firm so that you have no worries.  You will continue to receive what I was paying you with a five percent increase every year, so you can either stay home and take care of your brother Father Patrick and your sister Sister Mary or continue working for someone else, earning a second income.”

The face on the screen turned back towards Eunice and Lonnie.  “That’s right I set up a home for a retired Catholic priest and nun, so if you attempt to break my last legal wish you will be putting out a holy monk and vestal virgin on the street.”

I watched Lonnie take a gulp figuring out his chances of winning a court battle.

“Well, that is all I can think of, enjoy whatever you take from my house, I hope it reminds you of me, kids learn a lot and do good in the world, and my dear friend Janice take a long rest with your brother and sister.  Your parents would be so proud of you and all the good their kids have done in the world.”  There was a pause.  “Well that wraps it up except for the paperwork, now back to the lawyer.”

I did not know her well but I put a comforting hand on the shoulder of Ms. Cannon as she sobbed silently at the good her boss had done for her.

Clive the lawyer handed out the copies of the will and arranged a follow-up meeting with Ms. Cannon and then began closing his briefcase.  “If anyone has any questions about the will have your lawyer contact me, but if anyone contests the will in any legal way then their share is forfeited to the other recipients.  Good day.”  With that he left.  I theorized he was trying to avoid having to answer any uncomfortable questions.  On his way out he handed me a large envelope with no explanation.

The room was in a bit of shock.  Lonnie was barely containing himself with rage.  Didi looked like she wanted a smoke really bad.  Lonnie Jr. still looked bored, probably not realizing that if he had any educational endeavors, he would not have any worries.  I heard Chelsea ask her mother about a certain bedroom set at Aunt May’s house and if she could have it.  Chris was off by herself with a confused expression on her face.  Ed and Eunice were further back whispering things back and forth, probably figuring out how much they would be getting from the sale of the house.

“Lets walk outside.”  The voice of Judge Carrera said interrupting my people watching.  The three of us walked down the carpeted hallway to the large glass door exits.  I was still not sure why I was here; I barely knew the lady but it was interesting to watch the proceedings.

The Judge stopped the little group outside the doors.  “Janice, I know May wanted to make sure you were taken care, she had hoped this would give you and your family some stability.”

Janice nodded.  “Oh yes, I have been so worried about my retirement and taking care of my siblings for a long time, but now that worry is gone forever.”

“That is what May wanted for you.”  The Judge said smiling. The Judge turned to me. “You look a bit confused Mr. Mitchell.”

“A bit.  I did not know the lady that well, I just met her once.”

“Well May was a very shrewd judge of character, and those pictures you took for her were to help her decorate the house she gave to Janice here.  I took over the project and the house has many features and colors that match up perfectly with the Magic Kingdom, which I believe is your favorite place on Earth isn’t it, Janice?”

“It is.”  A bit of confusion crossed her face.  “And you say Mrs. Kowalski had it decorated like the Magic Kingdom.”

“Well colors schemes and some of the trim, what do the kids call it Disney bounding, inspiration from the park.” The judge stated smiling.  “I think it turned out great if I do say so myself.”

“I can barely wait to see it.”  Janice said.

“Which brings us to Mr. Mitchell.”  The Judge said.  “Mr. Mitchell if you would open the envelop, you will find my friend May thought you needed a new vehicle, so she gave her mini van to you, the title and registration card are in the envelope and here are the keys.”  The judge said pulling out two set of keys from her purse.

I nodded as much as I loved my station wagon a mini van would probably be an upgrade.  “Well would anyone like to go see Ms. Cannon’s new home.”  I said, jingling my new keys.

A few minutes later we were in the new to me white Honda Odyssey. I was about to drive out of the parking lot when I saw the Pastel family walking across the parking lot.  I could not control my curiosity any longer.  I pulled up right alongside the family and through my open window I spoke.  “Hey Chris.”

The young teen looked at me. “What did Junior say to you that day at the Magic Kingdom that made you punch him?”

Chris smiled, then brushed her hair away from her eyes.  “Junior thought it would be funny if he stuck something in Aunt May’s spokes and she spilled out onto the pavement.”

I gave a surprised look.

“I punched him and said, ‘I don’t think that would be very funny’.”

I put out my hand out for a high five which Chris gave me an enthusiastic slap, then put out her hand for a fist bump which I reciprocated with.”

Chris smiled.  I smiled and I drove off in my new to me car.

This will be the last Miles Mitchell Mystery for a while, I am going to finish some other projects, mainly an Outfitters Universe story, then some other things.

If you like this and want to support me getting back to writing more Miles stories, don’t forget to buy my books.  Volume 1 (8 stories) and Volume 2 (10 stories).

The previous Miles Mitchell Mystery is The Little Surfer Girl Case.   and before that The Office Case.

Categories: A Miles Mitchell Story, Outrageous Lies and Tales

Tags: lawyer, magic kingdom, Main Street USA, Miles Mitchell, MMM, nurse, pastels, Small World, the flannels, The Haunted Mansion, The Miles Mitchell Mysteries, vultures, Walt Disney World, WDW, Will